The Prince Bride
by Lolly Dream
Summary: Remake of The Princess Bride OP Yaoi style! Seems there is a drop of life left in Ace's corpse while Sanji in Kamabakka Kingdom is going to be forced to marry the Queen AcexSanji
1. Chapter 1 Once Upon a Time

**Title:** The Prince Bride

**Rating:** M

**Disclaimer:** I do not own One Piece nor do I make any money from this.

**Pairings:** SanjixAce / Hints of ZoroxSanji maybe more!

**Summary:** Remake of The Princess Bride OP Yaoi style! Seems there is a drop of life left in Ace's corpse while Sanji in Kamabakka Kingdom is going to be forced to marry the Queen AcexSanji

**Warnings:** Minor bad spelling & grammar, naughty language, yaoi, nookie, spoilers if you're not up to date, cross-dressing, crack/drama, other story refs might be made, OCs, and a lot of other things that will hurt your head and make you sorry for having read this story.

**A/N's:** For anyone that does not like my warnings don't read I guess …it's not like I'm forcing you to.

For the sake of the story there will be OCs, one of them will be the current Queen of Kamabakka Kingdom and lot of other changes/twists that will most likely give you a headache. xD This also will be a short story.

Dedicated to **vivaciousRingo **cause I will never most likely ignore a request from a AcexSanji fan ^.^;

I know Ringo-chawn this is not a continuation with Ace's revenge to the drabble "Sizzling Tickles" but hopefully you will still like it and who knows maybe one day I will do a continuation to that drabble.

You all should also go check out **vivaciousRingo** stories they are very good!

Thank you Ringo-chawn for daily giving me the encouragement and courage to keep on with my story telling! ^.^

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Chapter 1 Once Upon a Time

Once Upon a time in the land of Arabasta the deadly pirate Fire Fist Ace met the pirate cook Black Leg Sanji on his little brother's ship and it was love at first flame for the older D brother. Sanji however was rather confused and didn't at first know what to make of the fire starter. The cook had never before encountered such a polite well mannered man before. Most certainly it was a rarity on the Going Merry, the ship the cook traveled on at the time.

Ace would always offer to help the cook but the cook so pleased by just being offered with assistance would refuse and find himself praising and fussing over the man yet unlike with women he was able to comfortably be himself. Then one day after a meal when the fire starter was bringing his dishes to be washed he thanked the cook, "Thank you Sanji-san. It was delicious."

Sanji could not help but smile to Ace as he replied, "Please just call me Sanji."

"As you wish." came Ace's words in return and it was in that moment Sanji was amazed to realize what he meant was, 'I love you.' and Sanji was even more amazed to realize he truly loved this other man back as well, which was a very big shock for Sanji seeing as he thought of himself as a bit of a ladies man but the heart loved who it loved.

Sanji made it very clear how he felt for Ace one night in Arabasta. A night neither would ever forget. Sadly though like all good things Ace's time with the crew had to come to an end, as Ace was on a very important mission to find a certain dastardly man. So Ace packed up his few belongings to take with him back across the seas in his search.

It was a very emotional time for Sanji first realizing he had such love for another man and now to have such a powerful strong love be leaving him so soon after just having found it.

"I fear I will never see you again." whimpered the cook in distress as the two stole a moment in time away from the others to say their goodbyes privately.

"Of course you will." promised Ace hugging the blonde tightly to him.

"But what if something happens to you?" questioned the cook biting on his bottom lip to try and stop the tears.

Ace pulled Sanji back and stroked his golden locks as he looked deeply into his one visible blue eye. "Hear this now." His hands sliding down to the lithe man's arms as he made this vow, "I will always come for you."

"But how can you be sure?" Sanji asked not understanding how Ace could have such confidence.

Ace gave the cook one of his cheshire smiles, "This is true love ... think this happens everyday?"

The two parted with a kiss and Ace went on with his search for Blackbeard and Sanji went on with his crew to lead many adventures till the day he was split up from them and ended up alone on Momoiro Island or what he liked to call Hell.

The cook tried many ways to get off the island but the shitty okamas that the island was infested with forted all his plans. He then swallowed his manly pride to put on a dress with all the fixings to try and blend in so he could sneak away. Yet in his pink frilly dress and wig of long curls he ended up attracting the most unwanted attention of Queen Humpadick, the evil ruler of Kamabakka Kingdom now days. Being the Queen and all he proclaimed Sanji would be his new bride and of course Sanji tried to fight this but Humpadick was a devil fruit user as well with the powers of the …Suck Suck Fruit! So every time Sanji would try to fight against Humpadick, the Queen would use his Suck Suck powers to suck away Sanji's energy leaving him helpless.

Still the cook refused to give in. There was only one man he would ever marry and it was most certainly not this drag Queen!

"Why will you not marry me?" demanded the Queen as he stomped down one hairy leg with foot stuffed in a size twelve hot red high heeled pump. Even for a man he was not very attractive. Large in girth making Sanji question if those breasts were embellished or not, and were currently pushed up together in the tube top that matched the mini skirt the man wore. Having made the mistake to look down once, Sanji swore from that moment on only to look people in the face for the rest of his stay on this island from here on out.

"Because my heart already belongs to another!" growled out the cook in irritation thinking maybe if the guy knew he had someone else he would maybe back off.

The large Queen leaned forward his pink hair in pigtails falling over his shoulders to frame his fatty man tits, "Ohh someone better then me? Who is it that has stolen my little Prince's heart from me hummm?" he asked in a sweet voice.

Sanji stiffened he had not thought he would be asked whom. Slender nervous hands played with the hem of the ruffled light blue and white lolita dress he wore that clung tightly to his upper body showing the simple curves of his flat toned chest as from the waist down it puffed out in a ridicules amount of ruffles. "Well… he is a pirate." Sanji admit for the first time out loud. He was comforted by the fact at lest here on such an island he would not be laughed at for who his heart had fallen so deeply for.

"Oh and just what is this pirate's name?" asked Humpadick planning to send out his army to have the bastard killed right away.

Sanji straightened up with new hope now of getting off the island. If he gave Ace's name then surly with Whitebread's name behind Ace's it would maybe put some fear in this smug bastard. "Fire Fist Ace!" he announced proudly feeling ever so good to finally come out and say it.

Humpadick pulled back and raised a painted on dark black eyebrow at Sanji then busted into laughter.

Sanji frowned maybe the asshole didn't believe him? "It's true!" he declared.

This just got the Queen to laugh all the more. "You don't know do you?"

An uneasy feeling started to come over Sanji, "Know what?"

"Fire Fist Ace is dead!"

Sanji's world closed up on him and he refused to believe the bastard but after watching the tape that had been recorded from the live broadcasted event he could not help but believe it. Sanji fell to the floor on his ass as the tears came heavily. It had even looked like Luffy was not going to make it and who knew where his other crewmates were or even if they were still alive. It was all over …everything.

Queen Humpadick later declared the wedding to be in two and half weeks time since Sanji had no reason to refuse anymore even though the cook didn't say yes or no either. The cook was to busy in heartbreak with the image of Ace laying in a pool of his own blood. The cook swore then he would never love again.

* * *

Meanwhile on Enies Lobby Admiral Garp lay the wrapped up body of Ace, his foster grandson down on the rubble that was the only thing left of the island, having sailed over with the body from Marineford. The man racked with many memories and guilt wondering if maybe he had pushed Ace harder or maybe not so much he would have become a marine or maybe on the other hand, Garp should have tried to free him or even fought with Luffy to help free Ace. Either way there was only one chance left to make it up to Ace but if he kept having to stop to fight, like now he would never make it in time.

The boat he had taken was small and it needed at lest one person to keep it on coarse as someone else knocked the cannonballs back to keep the boat from sinking. He had stopped here in hopes to defeat the marines that were after him. Lucky for Garp with the hooded cape he wore they would never know who they were fighting else his career would be over.

Garp quickly turned around just in time to punch a cannonball back at the bastards attacking him but was then taken by surprise as a seaweed sea monster started to drag its self up onto the small shore line he was on.

"Dammit I don't have time for this crap!" roared the Admiral as he lunched himself at the seaweed covered mess creature.

The green monster then fell back under the weight of the man and the seaweed fell away from it leaving a very surprised face looking up at Garp, a face Garp recognized.

"You!...Your Roronoa Zoro!" Garp accused.

Zoro was able to clearly see the man's face even with the hood sloped down on it due to Zoro being so close to him. The swordsman bristled at once when he realized who it was. It was Luffy's grandfather! Holy fuck he seemed to keep having the worst luck ever! First it was ghost girl then that pervy swordsman promising to help him master his swords and so he went with him on his crap boat and had a drink with the man…and had a another drink and another drink then another and another …well then at that point … it had most certainly not been Zoro's swords he had tried to polish. After pushing the man over board he sailed off with the crap boat only to have it break down and start to sink on him and thus from there he had swim to here only to get himself in this mess now.

"You need to take Ace!" Garp demanded getting off the swordsman and pulling him to his feet. "There is hobbit miracle worker on Fire Swamp Island you must get Ace to that hobbit in under 24 hours if there is a chance life might be returned to him."

There were many things Zoro could have asked at that moment. Like what happened with Ace, or is Luffy around, or maybe even where is the boat but the first thing out of the green haired man's mouth was, "What the fuck is a hobbit?"

Garp growled in frustration, "There is no time for that…" he then pulled out a map with log pose from inside his cape as well as a small bag pouch and shoved them into the swordsman's hand. "The pouch is for payment for the hobbit and the map and log pose will show you the way you have to hurry or there is no chance to bring Ace back to life!" And Garp then took the time to knock back two more cannonballs that came at the little island.

Zoro confused as all hell and then some allowed himself to be shoved along into a small boat with a wrapped up passenger, he was guessing was Ace and set sail as Garp took the full defense against the oncoming marine ships attacking.

The swordsman pulled up anchor and lowered the sails catching wind and stared blankly at the map. _Ok if he was here and the island was left from this place how he held it upside down then he would go forward thus being right _thought Zoro and set sail heading in such direction only to hear Garp yelling at him he was going the wrong way. With a change in course the right way this time and mumblings of bastard old men, Zoro sailed on for a few hours.

As time ticked on by he could not help but look back at the blanketed covered rolled up body and wonder what the hell had happened. Even more so, this new adventure he was on, he questioned the sanity of it but then remembered anything seemed to be possible on the Grand Line. After all didn't Brook come back from the dead? Given he is a devil fruit user Zoro supposed it was possible for there to be other ways. He wasn't so sure about miracles however since he didn't believe in no god but whatever. This was Luffy's brother and he knew his captain would want this done. So surly he would be forgiven if he got back to the ship a little later then everyone else and for once those bastards could not blame his tardiness on him for getting lost! Zoro crossed his arms and was feeling pretty good about himself right now … of course that was the signal for something to happen.

"Ahhhh!" came the double cries from above Zoro. Caught off guard the swordsman looked up only to have a furry ball land in his face and something else landed hard in his gut knocking him backwards as he tried to pull the thing off his face.

"Oh man that was way to close! Dammit Chopper why did you have to ride that bird right into me!…" came a familiar angry female voice.

Zoro finally pulling the fur thing from his face he blinked to realize it was a traumatized Chopper still in a daze, and his small body still in position as if clinging to Zoro's head. Blinking Zoro looked up to see the female was none other then Nami. "Oi…what are you two doing falling out of the sky like that?"

"I was riding on an air current trying to get back to the ship having picked up a few nifty tricks from a small sky island till he comes out of nowhere riding this huge ass bird the two talking and not looking where they were going and ended up crashed into me!...hey wait what are you doing here?" Nami then frowned looking about the boat then eyes widen at the body shaped covered load. "Oh no did someone get hurt?"

This question seemed to snap Chopper out of it. "Whaaa! Someone is hurt? Oh no we need a doctor!" gasped the little doctor in a panic.

Zoro sighed and gave them a run down of what he knew. Of course the sea witch then demanded the map, log pose and pouch.

Nami's eyes lighted up in belis signs as she looked in the pouch then tucked that down her scantily clad top for … huh safe keeping. She then studied the map and log pose and barked out orders to Zoro to reposition the sails and pulled out this time from her top a rope.

"Oi! Witch how much stuff can you fit down in there?" Zoro asked wondering if maybe it was some kind of black hole or something.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" Nami grinned mischievously.

Zoro blinked and shrugged, "Not really…" thus getting Nami to frown but Chopper chimed in at this point having been quiet till now.

"Zoro? This is not going to be like Thriller Bark is it?" The idea of a person coming back to life was truly amazing and if there was such a person who knew of such medical possibilities it would be wonderful but the little reindeer was worried on what the cost would be, like how it was last time with other people's shadows and creepy zombies as results. "Ahhh I don't want Luffy's brother a zombie Zoro!" cried the little reindeer.

Zoro pet the little furball's head, "Ah it will be alright and hey if he does turn into a zombie he will most likely light himself on fire and scare himself shittless… heh that alone is worth the trip for me." He snickered.

Nami rolled her eyes and used a little rope wind trick to create extra wind to speed their trip up and in no time they came to the island that was surrounded in cliffs. "Ah looks like the only way up is to climb." stated the navigator. "Guess that means you will just have to carry us all Zoro." Nami smiled.

"Oi! What the fuck! Why do I have to carry you both? You can climb your damn selves." shot back Zoro.

Nami waved a finger at him, "Ah, ah…if we did it would take longer besides what if one of us fell then it would take even longer still… so really you see its better if you just carry us up, plus if you don't I will just raise the debt you owe me another 200%."

Zoro's right eye twitched and he growled out a, "Fine."

So they dropped anchor and Zoro with the Ace strapped to his back, Nami to his front and Chopper on his head the swordsman scaled up the cliff. He just had to think of this as more training he told himself.

As Zoro was busy concentrating Chopper's worrying voice spoke up, "Huh guys there is a marine ship pulling in!"

"What!" Namie yelled right in Zoro's ear making him startle for a moment and a hand slipped causing some lose rocks fall down the now long drop. He then grinded his teeth as Nami smacked at him yelling at him to, "Move faster, move faster!"

"Will you shut up witch I'm going as fast as I can here!" huffed the swordsman.

"Oh no what if they take our boat?" Chopper cried.

"Its fine we will worry about that later. First thing first we only have another ten hours to make it to the hobbit's hut in the middle of fire swamp forest of the island." Nami explained

Grunting Zoro piped in with, "I still want to know what a fucking hobbit is."

Zoro went unanswered yet again on this question as Chopper started to freak out, "Oh no now they are climbing up the cliff side ahhhh!" and wrapped his hooves over Zoro's eyes.

"Dammit Chopper I cant see, just calm down would you!" a vein was twitching on the side of Zoro head now. Seriously, this hobbit bullshit better work cause if this was all for nothing he was kicking someone's ass.

Finally they made it to the top of the cliff and saw the marines now half way up. "Hey some look like swordsmen!" grinned Zoro, things finally looking up as he placed a hand to his three swords at his side. "I can wait here for them and take care of them as you two…" but he was cut off as Nami pushed a giant boulder off the cliff with her staff she whipped out and they all watched the boulder bounce down knocking off all the marines that had been climbing up.

"Gaw! Nami the boat!" Chopper cried out in panic and of course just then the boulder crashed down on the boat they had used to get here destroying it at once and now already starting to sink it into the deep waters.

Both Zoro and Chopper looked at her with narrowed eyes. She gave a cutesy nervous laugh and rubbed the back of her head, "Woopsie … huh we will huh worry about that later come on lets get going!"

Having no other choice they let Nami lead them with Zoro literally carrying the dead weight. They then hiked down to the meadows, the fields, and up the hills. It was nightfall when they stopped for a rest.

Nami rubbed her swore feet. "We are going to have to keep moving there is only a few hours left of the time limit and surly some of those marines have remade it up the cliff side by now."

"Fine by me." Zoro still feeling like he could go on for the next ten hours if needed. Chopper however got up to his feet half asleep and started to walk trailing behind Zoro who was still caring Ace and was now behind Nami. As they made there way down a very steep hill one little misstep of a hoof lead to chaos. Chopper went down rolling, the sound causing the swordsman to look back only to be plowed over and tumble backwards pushing Nami to go flying forward as they all then went rolling down the hill, Ace flying from Zoro's makeshift-backpack-corpse-holder, leaving Ace's head to clunk all the way down to the bottom.

They then all sat dazed at the bottom of the hill Chopper very awake now. "Ahhh I'm so sorry guys. No one is hurt right?" Chopper asked with tears in his eyes.

"It's fine Chopper ..." Nami rubbed the small of her back and then she and the others turned to the body in the blanket all having seen the head hit a few rocks on the way down.

"Erm you don't think that will damage anything do you?" Zoro asked.

"Well technically since he is already dead I would think not…." Chopper replied.

"Eh what's the worst that can happen?" laughed Nami.

"Well he could revert to a low form of brain pattern much like Luffy." Chopper offered.

"You mean then there would be two Luffy's running around?" Zoro asked with wide eyes in fear that soon matched the other's looks.

"Let's just hope the hobbit can fix that too." Nami smiled nervously as the others got up and Zoro got Ace back on his back.

"I still wanna know what a fucking hobbit is…." grumbled Zoro

"Come we need to get a move on it, it's just up ahead, the fire swamp forest!" Nami called out.

Zoro was starting to think this was a conspiracy, a cover up of hobbits world wide or maybe just some world wide ploy to annoy him?

To be continued …


	2. Chapter 2 Fire Swamp Forest

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Chapter 2 Fire Swamp Forest

Nami opened the map and frowned then looked up once they entered the Fire Swamp Forest. "I think there must be some kind of mistake here."

"What the hell is this crap?" Zoro then questioned his right eye now almost twitching none stop.

"Sugoi!" cried Chopper with wide sparkling eyes at all the shinning lights and huge disco ball hanging from the ceiling. Among these oddities there as well was a mud pit with currently two males wrestling in it, along with a full service bar that Zoro was now eyeing and would go over to if he was not being eyed by so many of the guys that stood around it. There was also hanging cages in glittering red metal with red, yellow and orange ribbons streaming up from the bottoms of the cages having some fans under the things to give off the illusions of moving fire while men in tight speedos, bowties and mouse ears caged danced with in them. Last but not lest in the middle of it all on the dance floor was a DJ hut were two small figures could be seen working.

The Fire Swamp Forest was a gay bar….a very, very, very gay bar.

"Ow! 1, 2, 1, 2 that's tha way uh huh uh huh I like it!" came a familiar voice from one of the cages singing along with the music playing. At once the trio rushed over to the cage and gasped, "FRANKY!" they cried in union.

Franky stopped in mid hip roll and blushed, quickly standing up and crossing his arms as if to act like he had not been doing anything just a moment ago. "Oh hey you guys…oh wait if you're here then that means ... you guys must have herd about me falling in debt after a highly costly hospital operation, that so went wrong I might add, thus leaving me to have to do unspeakable things to get my cola! Meaning then …you must have come here to save me!" he started to sob, "Oh you guys ... you all are just so…"

"Huh actually no…." Nami cut in, in hopes to keep the man from embarrassing himself anymore and she then filled Franky in and the sad story still lead the man to cry anyways. So much for not making a scene.

"So just what did you have to do to get your cola besides this cage dancing job?" Zoro asked as the four of them now moved across the dance floor with Ace still on Zoro's back.

Franky shook his head, "Unspeakable things."

"Like what?" Chopper asked rather curious now.

"UNSPEAKABLE! Meaning they are not to be spoken about …ever!" snapped the cyborg.

Zoro's attention however in the matter dropped when Nami pointed out, "Look there are hobbits!"

"Where!" urged the swordsman badly wanting to see what one of these fuckers looked like.

There in the DJ hut was not one but two hobbits spinning tunes for the lively bar. They where dressed in matching gold tight pants and vests, and one whom had a little cowboy hat on…and little being the keyword here.

"What? Those? Those are hobbits? They are just hairy midgets!" yelled out a very upset swordsman.

Nami clasped a hand around Zoro's mouth as many heads started to turn their way. "Will you shut it, they wont help us with you bad mouthing them dammit!" hissed Nami then turned a bright smile to the many gay men. "Hahaha don't mind him, he has just had one to many drinks tonight." She quickly covered up Zoro's outburst as she waved a hand and they all seemed to accept this as just that.

"I should be drunk to be dealing with this crap." muttered the swordsman as he was dragged with the others to the DJ hut.

As they got to the DJ hut Chopper tapped on the glass gaining their attention and the one in the hat opened the door asking, "What can I do you for brother?"

"Erm is one of you the miracle worker hobbit?" questioned the little reindeer.

The one with out a hat raised his hand, "Aye that's me I'm Spam!" the hobbit cried out joyfully, "And this is my life partner Fried!"

The two hobbits then spun around together and in union called out, "And together we are …" their pelvis' then pushed together and they turned at the waists to be able to look at handful of Mugiwara crew before them as they held up their short arms to pose with victory signs. "Fried Spam!" they then finished together.

"Can I leave this story now?" Zoro asked only to be hit on the head by a falling sandbag the author of the story let fall on him for being so rude.

The others ignored Zoro's situation and Nami pointed to the bundle on Zoro's back as she spoke up, "We need help, our captain's brother was killed and we were sent on this mission by their grandfather, told that you could bring him back to life."

"Eh!" Fried gasped, "You brought a dead body in here!"

"Oh no, no, no we are going to lose our liquor license!" cried out Spam as both little hobbits started to run around in circles.

"Huh bros that's for bring in under age people into a bar." Franky clarified.

The hobbits stopped and blinked, "Ohh." They said together then nodded. "Well then that's fine …wait your all over 21 right?" Fried eyeballed them.

"Ohh yeaaah sure we are." Nami smiled as she crossed her fingers behind her back.

"Ok then bring the body on in here and down the stairs!" Spam told them and opened a trap door in the DJ hut and hurried down the stairs to turn on a light.

The crew made there way down the stairs and had to stay hunched over due to the low ceiling …well everyone but Chopper and the hobbits. Zoro then lay Ace down on the table in the little underground home and Spam unwrapped the body and felt for a pulse.

Spam nodded, "Just as I thought…he is mostly dead." He bowed in apology making everyone deadpan.

"That does not even make sense!" Franky busted out in annoyance.

Zoro elbowed Franky then, "Hey huh…you got anything else to wear…cause its kinda hard to take you serious in that man." Meaning the bar outfit of speedos, bowtie, and mouse ears Franky wore still along with his trademark sunglasses.

Franky looked away and sniffled, "No…I had to sell it for cola."

"Dude…you have a real problem." Zoro eyed the large man.

"This coming from a man that drinks sake all day?" Franky frowned back to the swordsman.

"Tch …but I don't neeeed to drink it." sneered Zoro.

"That's enough you two!..." and Nami pushed their faces smooching them up against the ceiling so they both would move back so she could see the on goings with the hobbits and Ace. "What we need to know is, can you make him not dead at all anymore?" she then asked Spam.

Cockily Spam crossed his arms over his nearly bare chest. "But of course I can…well so long as he has something noble worth staying alive for I mean I can't just let anyone come to me getting their life back there would be no balance and the word miracle would mean nothing then, but I do still require payment either way." grinned the hobbit Spam.

Zoro rolled his eyes as he now sat on the floor so he would not get a crick in his neck. "And just how are you going to find out if he has this criteria you require?"

"Well we will just ask him…" Fried popped up with a penis pump.

"Huh Fried love…?" questioned Spam.

Fried looked at what he held in his hands and tossed it behind him grinning, "Woops how did that get there…heh I swear that's not mine or anything." he then turned to rummage in a trunk as everyone stared but Chopper.

"It's perfectly normal for shorter men to feel the need to try and use things to help them get a leg up on the larger world around them." Chopper defended Fried.

All eyes now looked to Chopper and the little doctor's face turned beat red though his fur, "Not like I do anything like that or anything….I…. I'm just saying!"

"Riiiight anyways! I found it!" Fried announced and pulled out a gas tank of helium passing it over to Spam. Spam took it and used it on Ace's mouth filling his lungs with helium then handed it back to Fried as Spam then put his mouth near to Ace's ear and yelled, "Helllllloooo in there!" then made the soft whispers of , "Echo. echo, echo." and snickered at his own bad joke, while the pirates all just rolled their eyes.

Spam huffed and muttered, "Everyone is a critic." He then sighed and yelled back in Ace's ear, "Hey in there! What's so important worth living for?" and Spam then pressed down on Ace's chest.

As Spam did press down on Ace's chest in a high pitched tone of something was muttered from the man.

All the non-hobbits gave a jump in surprise, after all Ace was sups to be dead and that defiantly sounded like words coming form him.

"Sugoi!" Chopper's eyes then lit up like never before. "That is truly amazing! How… how? What else was in that tank of helium you gave him?" the little doctor wanting desperately in on the secrets.

Fried pat Chopper on the shoulder, "Ah sorry its hobbits only knowledge for world safety and all. If out secrets ended up falling in the wrong hands it could be disastrous. After all life is not meant to be played around with so lightly."

Chopper nodded and could understand this and appreciated it though the doctor part in him still ached to know.

"Eh what did he say?" Nami asked slowly getting over the shock of it as she edged more towards Zoro to sit down meaning to use him as a shield in case Ace got up looking for brains to eat.

"He said true lust! Woo baby!" Spam pumped his hips indecently. "And since that is not worthy I will take my payment now and you all can be on your way."

"Lair he said true love! I heard him as plain as day!" Chopper huffed now wondering if this was all a set up after all.

Fried nodded, "I herd it too Spam come on that's the most noblest of all reasons. You can't ignore that."

Spam however was busy getting the details from Ace on what this person looked like, Ace was so crazy over, "Huh blue eyes, blonde hair, long legs and an ass that just won't quit." repeated Spam from what he got from Ace wheezed out in a high pitch voice after Spam pushed on his chest again.

Zoro raised a brow and pondered a thought but then quickly pushed it away the idea just too imposable.

Again Spam was pumping his hips, "Bow-chick-a-wow-wow! What a honey!"

Fried smacked Spam on the back of the head, "I won't let you ignore this! Ever since Queen Humpadick chassed us from Momoiro Island you have been turning away people non-stop but you can't do it this time, not when its this cause…" the little cowboy wearing hat hobbit sniffled, "If you don't do this .. You're just not the same man I …"

"Fine, fine don't cry about it." pouted Spam hugging his life partner.

The others in the room were looking anywhere but the hobbits as the two then started to make-out, the pirates feeling really awkward at this moment.

As Spam then set to work on Ace, healing his wounds, even the extra bumps to the head and making the potion to bring life back into his body, Fried served tea and honey cakes. After which enjoying the snack the crew fell asleep only to be awoken at the crack of dawn due to an alarm going off.

"Crap it's the marines! They are raiding the bar! They want the body of Fire Fist Ace!" Fried informed them all from the stairs.

Zoro jerked himself up and took charge, "Franky lets go take care of this! Chopper, Nami you guys get Ace and join us when you can!" Zoro then with a wide grin on his face raced up the stairs. Finally something worth doing!

As Franky and Zoro raced off to thin out the marines Chopper got information from Spam. "The bandages will need to be changed daily and the salve reapplied then also and it should fully heal up in a weak, all of that is in the bag with an Eternal Pose to the nearest island. It will take a bit of ways to get there but you can stock up there on what you will need for a longer voyage as well here is the miracle cure…" Spam showed off a little ball of what looked like a chocolate candy piece. "I just finished it so you will need to wait 15mins before you give it to him." He put it in a small pouch and put it in the bag with the rest of the supplies he and Fried had put together for them quickly.

"Now my payment?" Spam asked.

Nami frowned not wanting to give it up but they really didn't have the time now for her swindling so she pulled the pouch out from her top and handed it over taking the bag of supplies in return while Chopper shifted forms to Heavy Point so he could carry Ace out.

As they left Nami looked back to see Spam taking out the golden ring from the pouch she had been forced to hand over and the hobbit then got down on to one knee before Fried, "My precious …" said Spam and Nami then hurried her pace only able to take so much.

As Nami and Chopper joined Franky and Zoro they came to realize just how many marines there were and it was way too many.

"Zoro we need to pull back we can't risk the chance of Ace getting anymore banged up." Chopper cried swinging a punch to knock back five marines one crashing into the other in a domino effect.

As much as Zoro hated to pull back he could understand the need and made the call to do so, having Franky to lead the as he took up the rear position to watch everyone's back and make sure no one got left behind.

Franky clearing the way with many attacks to make the path for them all got them to the hills with out incident and even managed give the marines the slip.

"Wait guys!" Chopper cried. "It's been 15mins I have to give Ace the miracle cure now." So they all stopped Franky and Zoro on guard as the marines could catch up with them at any moment, while Chopper stuffed in the chocolate cure in Ace's mouth and down his throat, Chopper wishing he had a chance to analyze it but there was no time!

No sooner had Chopper got the cure down Ace did Ace's eyes pop open wide with surprise. Chopper and Nami both screamed like little girls making Franky and Zoro turn ready to strike at the unknown danger yet there was none just a very confused fire starter.

"What the hell? Where I'm…why can't I move my body?" Ace questioned all at once as his dark eyes shifted around to take in his surroundings not able to move anything else at the moment.

"Wow …it really worked." gasped Nami.

"What worked? What happened? Where is Luffy?" Ace asked with worry.

"Don't know where Luffy is, didn't get told anything from Garp but to take you so you could get returned to life by Spam." Zoro lazily answered.

"Spam?" questioned the fire starter narrowing his eyes at the swordsman. "Is that some kind of joke?" Ace's mind was whirling. The last thing he remembered was trying to convince Luffy it was ok he was dying, hiding back all his hidden desires from his little brother so Luffy could have peace of mind. It was the last gift he had thought he could give his brother. Now here he was being told Garp had sent Luffy's crew to help him get another shot at life thanks to …spam? How the hell was spam helpful? Sure maybe it's good to eat from a can but really now! What the fuck?

"Yes Spam the miracle worker hobbit gave us a miracle cure for you. And this card it came with in the bag says to wait 30mins before swimming after taking and it will take awhile to be able to move." Chopper informed.

Out of all of that Ace could have asked many things but the first thing out of the fire starter's mouth was, "What the fuck is a hobbit?"

Zoro shook his head in dismay, "Don't get excite by it…it's just a hairy midget."

Ace blinked at the swordsman, "Then why don't they just say that?"

"Fuck if I know. Making something out of nothing to be all special makes no sense to me." shrugged Zoro.

"Huh…" replied Ace seeming to take this whole dying business and being back rather well.

"I hate to break up the party guys but I think I hear the marines catching up." Franky then said and all agreed to getting a move on it. Zoro ending up carrying Ace on his back yet again as they all ran on. So over the rest of the hills they went and through the fields and meadows till they finally reached the island edge, the high cliffs that looked down onto the waters. Only then to realize they had no boat.

"Oh no what are we going to do?" cried out Chopper in a panic.

"We will just have to take over one of the marine ships!" smirked Zoro.

"And that would be a smart idea if there was any marine ships around." pointed out Nami

"They must have all docked on the other side of the island." Franky thought out loud.

"Then we will just have to go to the other side then." Zoro said simply.

"Zoro we cant do that in Ace's condition." whined Chopper.

"Just leave me here it's me they are after anyways." Ace offered nobly.

"Like hell we will you bastard! Do you have any idea what I had to put up with to get you back alive again?" asked a now annoyed Zoro at the simple fact that someone was asking him to throw away all his hard work.

"Wait look out there on the water!" called out Nami pointing to a little makeshift raft with someone traveling on it.

"Right then! I think I have enough cola left in me to get us there." said Franky, "Everyone get on!"

Ace widen his eyes as Zoro got on Franky with the others, "Huh wait a minute here what's going on?"

"Just watch and be amazed at my superness!" boasted Franky and once everyone was securely on him he bent forward and let his ass inflate to an outrageous size and then called out, "Coup de Boo!" and launched himself with the others through the air out over the water heading for the raft.

As they flew though the air Ace didn't know if he should be disgusted or amazed like he had been told to, yet whatever it was working!

They all landed safely on the raft and were surprised to find out it was none other then Brook on it!

"Wow talk about luck! Who would have guessed one of our nakama would show up just at the right moment when we needed a way off the island!" said Chopper in amazement.

"Yeah because certainly it's not the author just looking for a cheep way to get one more of our nakama back into the group." said Zoro rolling his eyes only to get another sandbag to fall on his head.

"Oh come on now! There is not even a roof over our heads and we are out on the freakin ocean for crying out loud!" growled a very upset swordsman with a now big lump on his head.

The others ignored Zoro's situation as Ace got formal introductions from Franky and Brook.

Ace's eyes lighting up at first meeting the living skeleton and then promptly asking, "Do you poop?"

"I told you guys those hits to the head might mess him up." whispered Chopper to Nami and Zoro.

"Well he is Luffy's brother he was bound to be messed up a little to start with anyways." Nami whispered back.

"He does not really seem so different to me." huffed Zoro.

"Oi what is that you guys are saying?" Ace asked frowning.

"Nothing!" all three, Zoro, Chopper, and Nami said in union waving a hand.

"Hey Skelton." Franky then spook up pushing back his now limp hair. "What the hell did you make that sail out of for this raft?"

"Yohohoho! That would be all the lovely panties I got from my little adventure." answered Brook cheerfully.

"That's just disgusting!" Nami frowned.

"Niiiice!" Franky gave the thumbs up to add to the statement.

"But there is sooo many!" Chopper gaped.

"How did you get so many? Ace asked slightly curious.

"Yohohoho! Well you see there was this cult and …" Brook was then cut off by a smack to the head by Nami.

"I don't even want to hear the rest of that story!" Nami shook her head.

"Hey you guys where is the rest of your crew?" Ace then asked as a deep seeded worry set in his gut.

The tales were then shared of how the Mugiwara crew had became separated and in turn Ace filled them in on what happened at Marineford at lest to the point till he had died then he didn't know what had happened or where Luffy might be. Ace was sure however that Whitebread would look after Luffy so certainly his brother had to be ok and Ace went on to think this till they happened to by chance buy a newspaper from a delivery bird.

So on the sailed with the knew knowledge. Ace had taken the news about Whitebread hard and vowed to get Blackbread but first would help see to it that Luffy and all his crew got back together and most importantly make sure Sanji was ok.

It had taken a little over a week but the party finally caught sight of the island they had been on course for … Momoiro Island and on the shore they were now headed for they could see two somewhat familiar figures…and one was pointing at them!

To be continued …

* * *

**A/N's:** Won't be doing reviewer replies like I normally do in my chapter stories. I will just answer back in messages since I think you Ringo-chawn is the only one daring enough to read this but who cares I'm just happy you like it and I'm having fun writing it. ^.^


	3. Chapter 3 Kamabakka Kingdom

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Chapter 3 Kamabakka Kingdom

Two cloaked figures stood on the sandy shores of Momoiro Island as the gang on Brook's panty raft pulled in. Zoro at once took the lead again putting a hand to one of his swords about to draw it when one of the cloaked figures spoke up.

"Oh man what a relief! I thought I was going to have to go along with Robin's crazy plan all by myself!" gasped out Usopp pulling back the hood of his cloak as the figure next to him did the same and showing it was none other then Robin herself with Usopp.

"Usopp! Robin! Oh this is great! Is Sanji and Luffy with you guys too?" asked the little reindeer.

"I'm af-…erm I'm afraid not…huh doctor-san." Robin seemed a little distracted as she tried to speak to the little doctor but her eyes kept coming back to Franky and his cage dancing outfit.

"Eh no worries we will find them and if not we will surly meet up with them at the ship once we get back." Zoro rolled his shoulders as he eyed the happy pink island with an uneasy feeling.

Usopp then noticed Ace and pulled up his slingshot, "Ahh! Watch out everyone! Zombie!"

Once they finally got Usopp to lower his weapon their tales were once more told to Usopp and Robin and introductions were made between Ace and Robin.

"My …those are quite the adventures you all have had, but tell me more of these unspeakable things you spoke of Franky-san." Robin turned a Mona Lisa smile to the cyborg.

The large blue haired man bristled and in attempt to pull the talk away from himself, he rubbed the back of his neck saying, "Huh maybe later…" then quickly added, "How did you two end up here anyways…together and all?"

"Ah I can fill that in for you all…see I the great captain Usopp built a boat and was sailing the seas facing the dangers all alone when I sorta lost my way having no log pose … I would have starved to death too surly had it not been due to the extra layer of manliness muscle I had packed on during my adventures at a truly deadly island were the very flowers would try to eat you!"

"Huh…I'm sure." Nami rolled her eyes not believing any of that. The only one who did was Chopper.

"Wow amazing Usopp you're so great!" Chopper looked up to the long nose man with stars in his eyes.

"To make a long story short I happen to be making my way through the sea on a large iceberg and gave long nose-kun a hand." Robin wrapped up.

"Yeah and we ended up here…we got a boat and everything we need to set sail but we are having trouble getting Sanji." Usopp then added.

"Eh! Hey I thought you said Sanji was not with you!" Ace frowned glaring down at Usopp.

Usopp stepped behind Robin with sweat drops on his head now, "Well you see he is here on this island but not with us and Blackbread is here too and…"

"Blackbeard!" roared Ace his hand coming up in a fist that lighted with fire. "I will kill that bastard!"

"Well that would be most helpful but he is not the only one in the way. The Queen of this island is also a devil fruits user with a rather problematic power for us, that is keeping cook-san against his will." Robin then added.

"That bitch! I will kill her too!" roared Ace as his two arms now lit into hot flames.

"Eh well it's not a she …it's a he, this island is full of nothing but okama and women are not at all welcomed here." Usopp said as he snuck around behind other's backs to put more space between him and Ace.

"I don't care who it is! No one kidnaps my Sani!" Ace growled.

"Oi! Wait a moment here! Your ..." Zoro was cut off as Robin again spoke up to fill in the rest of the untold story.

"It seems Queen Humpadick is quiet taken with our chief and is planning to marry cook-san. The wedding is in a little more then a week's time from now, and Blackbread is here due to the wedding invite, him being the Queen's cousin." said Robin.

"Completely unacceptable!" yelled Ace in utter rage. His whole body turning red in his anger as fire busted out here and there on him making him look like a living torch.

"Baka ero-cook getting himself into trouble..." Zoro grumbled as he tried to ignore the fast facts that were piling up about Ace and Sanji, "Why does he just not kick the shitty Queen's ass …he has no problem kicking okamas." Zoro then asked.

"Well as I said the Queen's devil fruit power is rather problematic, him having powers from the Suck, Suck Fruit and uses these powers to keep sucking away poor cook-san's energy leaving him rather weak…and ever so helpless…" Robin said with a small smirk watching Ace as Ace's rage and fire kept increasing. "In fact I'm quite sure at anytime Queen Humpadick could just do…this or that with cook-san wherever he pleased…the cook being so helpless and no position to defend himself" Robin then added.

"Ahhh!" Ace roared out in wordless rage as fire shot from the man high into the sky like a thick beam that fully surrounded him.

"Oi Robin stop adding fuel to the fire." Usopp said and poked at Robin's arm, only then the long nose man blinked standing up straight now as something of realization hit him yet could not quite put his finger on what. "Eh Zoro does this not remind you of someone?"

Zoro crossed his arms and looked away childishly, "No!" he then snapped at Usopp, the swordsman pissed off but not only for the reasons Robin had just said.

"Huh...Long Nose you said something about Nico Robin having a plan?" Franky then chimed in hoping it would get Ace to cool off his temper.

"Ah yes! There will be a parade going on today at noon down Main Street in Kamabakka Kingdom where Queen Humpadick is introducing to the public to his future bride…" Usopp cleared his throat as Ace and Zoro now glared at him and he let Robin take over from there.

"Well seeing as how we have more people now which will make for a better chance at success rate and less possible deaths I shale tweak the plan…so this is what we shale do." Robin then explained giving jobs to all.

* * *

Sanji sat in an open carriage wearing a baby blue lolita dress designed with a tiered skirt, it being three skirts one over the other that were etched in an off-white blue, and small amount baby pink, yet around the waist of the dress making more of a hour glass curve there was a thick baby pink sash that tied in the back in a big poofy bow that matched the other one on the back of Sanji's head tied in a the long golden fake locks of the wig leaving half the hair down and the other half of the hair to layer over the lower half and of course all while keeping his left eye covered. The cook as well wore little to no make-up just some simple black mascara to extend his long lashes and a soft tint of pink lip gloss. It left him looking doll like….he utterly hated it.

Next to Sanji sat Queen Humpadick in another mini skirt and skimpy top showing off proudly his manly bosom as his hair was piled up in a braided mess of a bun much like that of a bird's nest and in the middle of it sat his crown. One extra thing he wore was a white fur cape he let loosely drape over his bare hairy shoulders as he was busy looking out to his adoring fans. Of course anyone that dared boo him was shot on sight, so maybe that would explain the forced massive cheers.

Sanji sighed sadly as dull blue eyes stared out at the masses of okama waving ever so foolishly to him, the Queen, and the royal knights on horse back guarding the carriage. The cook wishing he could just run but he felt so weak. The shitty Queen having drained so much of his energy this morning to the point even just sitting here now seemed rather much for him. He hoped this would be over soon so he could just go back to his room and lay down, maybe talk one of the castle servants into getting him another pack of cigarettes if he could find the energy to search for one of them out to talk to them.

Suddenly then out of no where there was a huge explosion in the air and then another like a fireworks of fire that was frightening the horses making them rear up.

"Your majesty bro get down there is a snippier!" yelled one of the knights in a voice familiar to Sanji's ears.

Of course the Queen more worried about his own safety ducked and covered his head leaving his sights off Sanji for the moment.

Then that knight who had called out came closer on the horse he rode and grabbed Sanji's hand, "Come on cook-bro!" the in disguise Franky said in his suit of golden armor and pulled Sanji over the horse so that Sanji lay on his stomach over the saddle in front of Franky's lap.

The Queen then looked up at that, "Stop them, stop them!" he ordered in a royal hissy fit.

Most the knights however was now dealing with arms sprouting up around them and as cloaked figures then joined the fray attacking the knights. Yet one knight got a hit in on Franky knocking him down from the horse. It was at that time the loud crash of thunder spooked the horse Sanji was clinging to and still laid out on ever so embarrassingly. The shitty horse then took off in a panic tearing down the cobbled street plowing down anything in its way. Yet as Sanji was jostled about on the bastard animal's back he heard two people crying out to him.

Both Ace and Zoro looked up as the horse Sanji was on took off on its own will, the cook clearly helpless on the run away horse, both men each calling out to the blonde, "Sanji!" "Ero-cook!"

Then it was Ace that took action pulling a knight down from his horse and knocking the man out all at the same time only then to hop on the horse he had just robbed of its rider. Ace now tore off after the cook, chasing him through the streets and then across a vast meadow.

Sanji's heart ached with in his chest. The voices the bits and glimpses of people's faces he had seen …his nakama was here! But even better still as Sanji looked back, the face he saw that was coming after him was Ace!

Sanji struggled with himself on the horse and finally was able to free himself allowing himself to drop free and tumble down onto the ground in a painful roll only then came to a stop as he groaned in pain, his whole body hurting from the lack of energy and the fall it had just suffered.

At the sight of seeing Sanji fall Ace sped his pace up cracking down the reins on the side of the animal and letting his heels kick at its sides to further encourage the animal to move faster. His trademark cowboy hat was blown off his head at the increase of speed and now the hat flapped behind him still holding on due to the string it was attached to that hung around his neck.

Nearing his love's fallen body he did not slow down at all, Ace just swung his leg over and jumped landing agilely on his feet and ran the last few steps.

Ace slide to his knees reaching the cook's side and turned Sanji over to take the other man in his arms. The fire starter then gazed down into that one blue eye that held more beauty within it then any ocean could ever hope to compare in image to or so Ace thought.

There were many things Ace wanted to say to the cook but he had to know if the cook was alright first and Sanji was just staring up at him not moving or saying anything. "Can you move at all?" Ace asked in worry.

"Move?" questioned the cook as he stared at that handsome face with freckled cheeks he loved so much. Sanji's heart nearly beating out of his chest now as the fact that this was not a dream finally set in. "You're alive!" Sanji felt the hot pressure of tears poking at his eyes, "If your want I can fly!"

Ace smiled gazing down to Sanji's face, "I told you I would always come for you. Why didn't you wait for me?"

Sanji blinked realizing just how much of hope he had given up, "Well you were dead." he tried to explain. That day the cook had saw the tape of Ace's death the energy had left his heart more then any amount Humpadick could ever drain from him and now that lost energy was slowly coming back due to being here in Ace's warm alive arms.

"Death can not stop true love…all it can do is delay it for awhile." Ace replied stroking some of the long fake locks away from the right side of Sanji's face feeling more alive in this moment then he had since the whole time he had been brought back to life.

The cook felt as if his whole body was aflame with the feel of Ace's love burning deeply with in him once again and Sanji's hands then weakly rose to grip the fire start's arms and promised, "I will never doubt again."

The feel of this once strong man being so frail in his arms broke at Ace's heart and he promised himself to see things set right so he would gain his powerful blonde firecracker back. Always would he now be there for Sanji. "There will never be a need." Ace then promised and lowered his head to bring his lips down to the blonde's to share in a kiss each had yearend for, for far to long now.

At the feel of Ace's body laying lightly to the top of his, Sanji let his hands slide up from those bare strong arms from under the cloak to hook behind the back of the fire start's neck letting his mouth open up more to the hungry feverish kisses of Ace's lips, letting the other man fest upon his mouth.

"Oi! What the hell do you think you two are doing!" Zoro yelled after he got over the deadpan state he had first been in and only snapped out of it once all the rest of the crew then had joined him.

Ace and Sanji broke the kiss and looked up to the crew who were looking down at them from horse back, making both men now blushing deeply. Well the cat was most certainly out of the bag now.

Nami then turned to Usopp, "Told you pay up!" she demanded making the long nose man grumble but pay the woman the 100 beli the bet had been agreed upon so long ago.

After a bit more of awkwardness it was soon broken due to Chopper demanding to check out Sanji for injuries but all were in agreement then that it would need to wait due to needing to take cover. So Ace got back onto his horse and pulled Sanji up to join him in his lap and they all rode off.

They all ended up then taking refuge in the Maiden Forest, which there they made camp to let Sanji rest, due to at that time the cook was near fainting from fatigue, though of course the cook would never admit to it. Chopper then got his chance to check over the cook and declared Sanji's body seriously strained and supplied the cook with vitamins and other such things to help with the recovery of Sanji's frail state.

It was not till that night did Ace and Sanji get free moment to talk alone again as the dinner, conversation had been tales of everyone's adventures and poking fun of Sanji being in a dress.

Ace now held Sanji's hand as they sat near the camp fire the others talking amongst themselves the weirdness and fun of teasing the fire starter and cook being romantically evolved having already lost its shiny newness …well all but for one now moody swordsman.

Ace's free hand tugged at the skirt of the dress Sanji had on, "I don't know, I think its rather charming on you." he then smirked as he replied to Sanji's complaints on the dress once more. Ace then earned a glare from Sanji for his efforts in flattery.

"Whaa? I'm not saying I would want to see you in them all the time or you give up your nice suits I'm just saying maybe you know …wear something cute for me now and then….maybe some nighties too?" the fire starter tried to sweet talk the cook into agreeing.

"You have got to be kidding me." Sanji rolled his eyes.

There conversation was short lived however as Zoro suddenly shot up onto his feet drawing two of his swords all at once making everyone come alert to the moving shadows closing in on them. They all got up to their feet as soldiers of the Kingdom of Kamabakka came out of the wood works holding up long spears made of seastone and others holding nets of the same marital.

A few horses then rode up to the camp carrying none other then Queen Humpadick, his second in command Count Moore and a few of his higher up knights. Having known their island better then the pirates they had been able to easily set up an ambush where Humpadick had thought they would try to take cover.

Smugly Humpadick demanded of them, "Surrender!"

Ace grinned as he tried to keep Sanji behind him knowing the blonde was in no condition to be fighting. "Surrender? You mean you wish to surrender to us ... very well we expect!" mocked the fire starter.

"Do not be a fool there is no way you can win. Such foolish bravery in this kingdom is unheard of!" growled the pissed off Queen so use to people just doing as he wanted.

"Then its only cowards we need to fight! This will be a piece of cake!" piped in Zoro grinning as he held his swords at a ready stand for action.

The rest of the Mugiwara crew took weapons in hand or took battle stances too all willing to lay there life on the line for their nakama.

"I tell you once again! Surrender!" demand the Queen.

Sanji however could not help but notice the bowmen taking aim with their arrows that stood behind the other knights with laces of seastone and other weapons. They were completely surrounded and Sanji knew all to well the power the Queen held. People were going to die, and most likely the people being his nakama. He did not have the strength with in himself to fight that he knew but he could not do nothing and just watch them die!

"It will not happen." Ace started to lose the humor in the tone of his voice now.

Humpadick now raised his hand in a claw like hold drawing up his devil fruit power, "For the last time surrender!" he yelled his temper now flaring as he gave his last warning.

Ace now raising his hand, his fire power making his now clenched fist glow of righteous fire as he yelled back, "Death first!"

"Will you promise not to hurt them!" Sanji then suddenly yelled out shocking everyone.

Humpadick frowned as his surge of power now was put on hold, "What was that?" he asked suspiciously.

The rest of the crew as well questioned Sanji in union, all but Robin that is, "Huh?"

"If we surrender and I promise to go back with you and marry you will you promise not to hurt any of them and return them to their ship?" Sanji asked willing to sacrifice himself for the greater good.

"Oi, cook what do you think you're doing!" demanded Zoro now glaring to the blonde.

The cook looking to the swordsman with a sad blue eye, "Think about it logically you shitty moss-head its better this way." Sanji then looked back to the Queen, "Do I have your word?"

The Queen smiled and let his hand drop to his side, "Of course my dear little Prince. I will have my fastest ship take them at once to anywhere they wish to go…my word of honor as true Queen of this land, do you have." As Sanji turned away to Ace Humpadick turned to Count Moore whispering softly for only that man to hear, "Once we are out of sight round them all up and toss them in the Pit of Despair."

A sneer came to the thin man's face who was dressed in golden jeweled armor and who had black hair braided in a thick single long braid down his back. "I swear it will be done." Count Moore replied to his Queen loyally.

Ace frowned sadly at the cook as the blonde faced him letting his hand die out of the fire and grip to the other man's arm, "Sanji?" he questioned.

Sanji lay a hand to Ace's cheek tenderly, "I thought you were died once and it almost destroyed me. I can not bear it if you died again. Not while I can save you."

Ace could say nothing in return just look into that blue eye watching the waves of sadness roll with in it till Sanji was pulled away from him by Humpadick, the Queen then ridding off with the cook.

Count Moore let his horse then step up forward to the group, "Come on then let's get a move on it then."

Zoro was fuming with in himself at the outrage of this all and out of all the people he could have yelled at it was Ace the swordsman turned on, "Yeah true love my ass! How could you just let that baka go like that!"

Ace looked to Zoro and frowned, "What was I sups to do let him stay here and get hurt? …Now shut the hell up and fight!" yelled Ace turning back around as his hands lit up with the raging fire he felt with in himself. "I promise Sanji I will come for you!"

They all had not trusted the Queen's words and all were gladly willing to fight but as the battle raged on it was starting to look bleak. With singles they got the message across to each other that they needed to dived and conquer. The group then split into 3 teams.

Team one Ace and Zoro…Ace letting Zoro lead and they soon found themselves lost in the forest with out a clue where the hell they were.

Team two Nami, Usopp, Brook, and Chopper who ended up getting captured and taken to the Pit of Despair.

Team three Robin and Franky, were Robin got badly hurt by a seastone weapon and Franky ran to her rescue and got them away and into hiding.

Now spilt up once again each carry on the fight in the only ways they can and hope it will be enough to rescue the cook in time before he is forced to marry Queen Humpadick.

To be continued …

* * *

**A/N's**: Sooo was thinking this story might only be 5 chapters long but after ending this chapter how I did it might be 6 … heh we will see ^.^;

And yay hinted RobinxFranky =P


	4. Chapter 4 The Pit of Despair

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Chapter 4 The Pit of Despair

The okamas of Kamabakka Kingdom all were gathered in the large courtyard of the grand white and pink majestic castle. Above the okamas, on the balcony, that held their attention so captive was none other then their Queen. Queen Humpadick stood above them on the balcony in all his glory, his crown shinning brightly in the afternoon sun as he now addressed his people.

"My subjects of Kamabakka Kingdom I have conquered many prizes in my life time but nothing has given me greater pleasure this new one I now share with you all!" With great flourish of hand gestures of raising both arms out wide he then called down to his subjects, "May I present to you, your co-Queen…. Queen Sanji!"

From the other side of the courtyard the double doors were opened and a silhouette of the cook was shown with a bright light behind him before he stepped out onto the red carpet letting his long dress drag as he went on to take each step bring him more into the courtyard for all to see him. The lovely elegant long light pink dress he wore was in swirled with thin vines of gold. Along with this new garment he wore a matching yet smaller crown then what Humpadick wore.

All the subjects now bowed to Sanji, Humpadick's new wife and their co-Queen.

However there was one person who was not bowing. The young man stood there in black long shorts and a blue vest with sandals on his feet and a straw-hat on his head. It was none other then Luffy!

Sanji's one visible blue eye widen greatly.

"Baka!" Luffy called out to Sanji as he stuffed a finger in his nose and started to dig around in it as if mining for gold.

Sanji was rather shocked. "Whaa?" he was only able to ask as he wondered what Luffy was doing here. Luffy should be meeting up with the others to get back to the Sunny.

"Baka!" Luffy said again looking dully at Sanji while he still picked his nose.

"Why do you say this?" Sanji finally got out.

"You had true love and you gave it away for that?" Luffy used his other hand to have a thumb jab in the direction of Humpadick.

"But if I didn't he would have killed Ace and the others." Sanji tried to explain.

"Your true love lives and you marry another …no nakama of mine would ever do something as cowardly as that!" Luffy shook his head walking towards Sanji, "Garbage filth…" his finger came out of his nose with a nasty slimly greenish yellow burger and reached his arm out to push the burger in Sanji's face all while yelling, "Baka coward!"

Sanji awoke with a jerk sitting straight up in bed. A cold sweat could be felt on the spin of his back making the thin cotton nightgown cling to his body while he took in deep gasping breaths.

It was still two days till the wedding now but Sanji's nightmares were growing steadily worse.

The cook weakly turned to place his bare feet on the cold pink stones of the castle floor and reach out to the little heart shape white nightstand by the bed. He picked up his pack of cigarettes and lit one up then slowly eased his tired body out of bed as he moved over to the window and sat down in the window seat as he pushed open the window to gaze out at the night sky and the many stars that twinkled down from above.

Sanji took in a deep breath of smoke from his cigarette and recalled upon the feel of his love's embrace. "Ace will come back for me." he then whispered out with the trickle of smoke assuring himself.

* * *

Meanwhile in the Maiden Forest ….

"Zoro…I have decided." Ace said sounding very matter of fact like.

"Oh yeah … what about?" the swordsman answered back as he lead the way through the forest.

"After this is all over and we get Sanji back…I'm kicking your ass!" Ace suddenly roared out in a pissy fit. "We have been walking around this crap forest for fucking five days now …don't think your plan …whatever the hell it is…is not fucking working!"

"Tch… we are not lost the woods are just deep!" Zoro huffed. "Anyways this is a common trick any sea fairing person knows…" Zoro then pointed out to a ball of light in the night sky. "See just follow the North star."

A vein stressed its self into a twitchy fit now on the side of Ace's head, "Baka! That's a firefly!"

"No it's …oh damn I guess it is." Zoro stopped walking to rub the back of his neck.

* * *

Erm…lets try a more productive team…

* * *

Meanwhile in the Pit of Despair …

Chopper, Nami, Brook and Usopp all set locked up behind bars of seastone. Luckily however Nami being a woman the dungeon master didn't want to touch her, nor did he want to touchy the creepy skeleton. Though the creepy albino drag queen in shiny black leather had tried to squeeze and hug Chopper. That is till Chopper shifted sizes and scared the crap out of him. So all torture was going to go to Usopp but the man having seen how Nami was not being touched simply due to her sex quickly made up the lie of insisting he was a woman too. It had worked. For five days now the captured pirates went untouched.

It was on this night however that it looked like that might change as Count Moore came down the steps to the pit looking around.

"Fredrick!" called out the Count.

The chubby faced man poked his head out of a cell from where he had been busy torturing one of the other occupants. "Yes?" he questioned with a frown.

"Why have those pirates not been tortured yet?" The Count asked rather upset.

Fredrick came out of the cell and locked it up. "They are not the only ones in my appointment book you know just count how many people are here." he said placing a hand on his hip sounding all high and mighty.

The Count grumbled but looked around tallying up the many people here. "I don't see more then ten others then the pirates."

Clearly the man had no idea the amount of work it took into torturing just one person let alone a whole pit full. "Count Moore…" Fredrick started.

The Count grumbled again. "Fine!" he pointed to each prisoner counting them once again. "Fine twelve besides the three pirates in the cell."

"Eh I think you need to count again with the pirates." Fredrick said tapping his black leather boot to the floor.

The Count bristled and counted again the wide eyed pirates that were staring at him and the dungeon master. "Ok four then."

"As I was saying Count Moore…" the albino started again only to be cut off again.

"No I just did!" yelled the Count getting sick of this already and rather pissed.

"Count Moore!" Fredrick in turn yelled trying to gain the man's attention.

"Gaw! You know what, screw it! Do whatever!" and with that Count Moore stormed out and up the stairs.

Once Fredrick went back to his work with man he was playing with before Nami shook here head. "We are lucky they are all such imbeciles ...though it kinda makes rather humiliated to have been captured by them."

The three males in the cell with her nodded there heads in union all agreeing.

* * *

The next after noon in the castle Sanji was on his way to his room after a light lunch which he had not been allowed to cook, in fact he had not been allowed to cook at all since he had been here. The Queen having declaring such a mundane task not fitting for his future bride, so Sanji was stuck to smoking cigarettes when he could get them and staring out his room's window or reading the fairytales that lay on the bookshelf in his room. He wished he could just run away but he had his promise till Ace came back with some better plan of sneaking him out plus he had tried many times before to sneak out his own in the past and it had always lead to the guards just bring him back and locking him in his room.

Sanji then stopped in the hallway after tripping on the long forest green dress he now wore that was fitting for any maiden with long sleeves and darker green patterns of leaves at the edges of the sleeves and bottom of the dress that dragged on the floor. The only problem …he was NO DAMN MAIDEN!

The cook sighed thinking at lest this dress was not so fucking cutesy and actually covered him. It could be worse. Humpadick could be forcing him to wear tube tops and mini skirts like he normally wore. Sanji shuttered at the very thought of himself in matching outfits with the Queen. His personal horror show was then put on hold as he herd the voices of Queen Humpadick and Count Moore in a room near by.

With as much of stealth as a man wearing a dress can, Sanji snuck over to the open doorway and peeked in to eavesdrop.

The Queen sat behind a large oak wood desk as Count Moore stood by the man's side.

"I want the Maiden Forest completely cleared out before the wedding. There is no doubt the rest of those foolish pirates are hiding there. Then once you capture them make sure you put them in the Pit of Despair with the others." smirked the Queen as he polished a dagger.

"Of course but there is no need to worry if any of them try to step foot in the kingdom the extra guards on call will catch them at once." assured the Count.

That was all Sanji needed as he stormed into the room with new found energy from his fury. "You shitty bastard you never sent them back to their ship!"

"Ah my darling!" The Queen put down the dagger on his desk as he now rose from his chair then came around the desk "So good to see your sprits are back up and but of course, they where in my way and caused me great embracement during the parade. I could not let that go unpunished."

"Damn you!" Sanji grounded his teeth then held his head high, "It does not matter. Ace and the others will come for me. There is nothing you can do stop them!"

This got the Queen to laugh, "You're such a fool…" and he gave Sanji then his back not feeling the need to waste his time on this any longer.

"Yes I'm a fool for having ever thought I could trust you at your word and not for seeing that you are nothing but a coward with a heart full of fear!" Sanji taunted as his hands balled up in fists at his sides in anger.

That got the Queen to turn around with wide outraged eyes. "I would not say such things if I were you." He warned as his words came out in a quiet voice yet the power behind it unquestionable.

"Why not? You can't hurt me anymore then you have already. Ace and I are joined by the bounds of love and there is nothing you can do to break that, …" Sanji moved in closer to the man building up all the energy he had with in himself as he went on with his righteous speech, "And when I say you are a coward that is only because your are the slimiest weakling to ever to crawl the earth!" he then lashed out with his right leg giving it everything he had.

The Queen effortlessly grabbed Sanji's ankle stopping the kick with ease as his other hand reached up and took hold of Sanji's throat as his Suck Suck powers came alive and started to drain the cook of his new found energy and growled out in utter furry the blonde dared to still go against him, "I would not say such things if I were you!"

A pain filled whimper came from the cook as darkness then followed as he passed out fainting only to be held up by Humpadick.

The Queen taking the cook in his arms then turned to Count Moore, "Kill them all!" he yelled and then tossed Sanji over his shoulder and added, "The ones you have now the ones you find … but most of all …. Kill that bastard Fire Fist Ace on sight!" the Queen's raging words echoing through out the castle as he then stormed out of the room with the blonde in tow.

* * *

Later that night two cloaked figures watched Count Moore and the dungeon master, Fredrick meet at the edge of the kingdom.

"Yes all the pirates that were gathered and if anymore get brought to you kill them at once, so is ordered by the Queen." the Count said.

"But I have not tortured them yet." Fredrick replied, given he was against touching them he still meant to get around to them in time. It was his job after all and any job worth doing was one worth doing right.

"It does not matter; the Queen wants no risks to his wedding tomorrow night. They are all to be killed and their heads given to his bride as a wedding gift." smirked the skinny man in armor.

The two made there farewells and the two cloaked figures followed the albino into the woods.

The creepy drag queen then stopped in step and called out, "Who goes there…come out! Show yourselves!" Then gasped as hands cupped over his mouth…hands that had came from his own chest! He struggled as more hands popped up around him and the two cloaked figures came out from the shadows lowering their hoods to reveal themselves as the pirates Franky and Robin.

Franky at once went over to take hold of the other man, "Please don't over work your self Nico Robin, I got him now."

Robin gave a soft smile and let her many arms on the man pop in a shower of flower pedals. "Thank you Franky-san." She took a deep breath and placed hand over her other arm which her cloak was hiding that had a nasty gash in it. Though it was wrapped up and doctored to the best of Franky's knowledge, it still was giving Robin much pain.

The two having been hiding out till Franky was sure Robin was alright to move then getting as much information as they could to where the others were being held.

Franky shook the albino, "Alright you, out with it. Where is this Pit of Despair?"

"I do not know!" Fredrick lied quickly and ever so badly as he struggled in Franky's iron grip.

"Maybe it would do some good to jog his memory Franky-san?" Robin offered

Franky smirked happy to be able to hit something and raised one of his large fists meaning to pound it down on the man's head only then to watch the man pass out and fall fainting from the mere thought of harm done to his own body.

"That was rather pathetic for one that makes a living torturing others." Robin calmly stated.

"Dammit now what?" Franky grunted in annoyance.

They were both then surprised to see a tree open up and from it out came, Nami, Chopper, Usopp and Brook.

"Ne? What are you guys doing here?" a bewilder Nami asked.

"We came here to rescue you girlie and the others but seems you guys didn't need it." Franky rubbed the back of his neck.

"You guys should have seen it! Nami was so amazing she picked the lock with one of Brook's bones!" Chooper cried out cheerfully.

"Yohohoho, Nami can use one of my bones any day she likes! Yohoho skull joke!"

"How about to beat you over the head with?" Nami growled in irritation, while Franky with a twitching vein on his head from the awful bad joke cocked his left arm to get ready to open rapid fire on Brook.

Robin however used her good arm to lay over Franky's and shook her head no getting the man to lower his arm down even though Robin was tempted to let the cybrog do it anyways; she not one to be able to stand Brook's jokes either.

Robin then turned back to the subject, "Well that is good doctor-san but how did you all find your way out of the Pit of Despair? It sups to be impossible with out a guild who has been their before."

Usopp blinked, "What are you talking about Robin? We just went up the stairs and came out here."

A hand came up to Robin's forehead and rubbed at the aching spot cause by so much stupidity of this story. "Well that was rather anticlimactic." she sighed.

"I'm telling you I herd voices up here…" growled out a person from behind a shaking bush.

"I bet your hearing voices …maybe telling you to follow more fireflies?" Ace mocked as he came through the bushes then followed by Zoro.

"Oi! That was a simple mistake anyone could have made!" Zoro growled out.

"Zoro! Ace!" cried out Chopper joyfully.

"Ha I told you I herd people!" Zoro smugly rubbed in the fire starter's face.

"Even an idiot has to get one right now and then." grumbled Ace.

"Eh what was that flame boy?" Zoro narrowed his eyes to Ace as Nami came up to crack both of them in the heads.

"That's enough of that you two we don't have any more time to waste! If we don't hurry and get Sanji-kun out soon by this time tomorrow he will be Mrs. Humpadick."

Zoro blinked then busted out laughing, "Ha I just got it…hump a …" he was then smacked up side the head again by Nami.

"I said we have no time for this!" Nami kept a fist raised. "For the safety of our nakama! We storm the castle!"

Usopp and the others were questioning Nami's motives now though however as they saw the beli signs in her eyes. "Right and it has nothing to do with the loads of treasure that's in the castle?" Usopp asked.

The navigator turned a cutesy grin to the long nose man. "Oh is there treasure there … I never knew …well I sups it would not hurt to pick that up too while we are there." She laughed as she lied ever so easily.

Ace took up a stand joining in, "Right we storm the castle! For True love!" he raised a fist.

Nami joined Ace rising her own fist, "For treasure!...erm I mean Nakama!"

Zoro then shrugged and raised his fist, "To get this story over with!"

The others just shook their heads and headed back towards the kingdom working on a plan as they went.

* * *

A/N's: I hope you're all enjoying still ^.^


	5. Chapter 5 A Storybook Love

**A/N's:** ~ _WARNINGS_ ~Violence & Sex (aka the good shit ^.^; or so I hope.)

* * *

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Chapter 5 A Storybook Love

The sun slowly was sinking down in the horizon leaving the once bright blue sky an ominous array of reds which were casting its light down on the castle in a soft hue of golden color, hiding the castle's normal sugar sweet appearance to make it seem as if the white walls were gold themselves.

The Mugiwara crew stood behind their captain's brother facing off with those who now blocked their path to the tightly locked up castle where their nakama was being held.

After Chopper had treated Robin's wounded arm the gang then got as much information on the castle as they could yet in the end the group had settled with the simple plan of go in and just kick ass. There was no way to sneak in, in so little time. It was all are nothing.

Across from the pirates were sixty royal guards and none other then Humpadick's cousin Blackbeard making a stand against them.

"I will take on Blackbeard you guys get the rest and get those doors open as soon as you can." Ace ordered and all nodded in understanding and the charge was then lead.

Usopp stayed back with Robin and Nami to take out the few bowmen and use there skills of long rage attacks to the best of their abilities for the good of the group.

Brook, Franky, Choper, and Zoro went head in the battle, swords drawn and fists ready while Ace stood off against Blackbeard.

The large man Blackbeard sneered, "Now I know you're not Ace…saw him die myself. So just who are you stranger?"

Ace narrowed his eyes, his hands down by his sides, his fingers wiggled in slight movements itching to be raised in action for the battle. "Hello, my name is Portgas D. Ace. You killed my father prepare to die!" Ace's hands rose up crossing one finger over another to bring out his first attack of Jujika, the result a column of fire that shot right at Blackbeard.

Blackbeard had actually been shocked by the use of firepower for it thus meant that this was truly the real Ace. The pirate cried out in pain as the fire hit him and he had to roll around on the ground to put himself out. "I don't know how you managed to come back to the world of the living Ace but I beat you once before; I will do it again!" roared the man getting back to his feet and let lose a display of his new powers and from them the very earth shook.

The display however only fueled Ace's anger to see what had been stolen from the man he had called father. Fire and darkness then clashed once again but Ace was determined this time. To much lay on the line this time around. He had been given a second chance and he would not waste it.

As Ace and Teach battled the others were thinning down the number of guards. Blood was plentiful as it coated the steal of swords and swells of fists and splattered like rain drops to the quaking earth that seemed now to shake just by the excitement of it all.

"Leave no survivors!" yelled out Zoro as he worked with the others to pin down the guards to the castle gates not giving them room to fight or run.

The sun moved lower in the sky as a magnificent ball of fire that mimicked the sun's very being was hurled at Blackbeard only to be swallowed by the darkness the other man controlled. Attack after attack was swallowed up till Ace moved in for a close rage attack of next gripping a lance of fire and jumping down onto Teach to try and pierce the man with it, yet Ace only got knocked back and to the ground for his effort.

As the guards started to thin out more guards were being called, many taking to the walls of the castle to fire down on the intruders only to get hands popping out from their bodies to grab them cracking backs and necks or blots of lighting striking them to a fried crisp or last but not lest exploding balls blasting in their faces knocking them out.

Blackbeard reached behind himself and pulled out a dagger. "I think cutting out your heart and giving it to my cousin will make a nice wedding gift. I normally don't do my shopping at the last minute but I'm willing to make an exception just this once." The large man mocked as he came down on Ace using his own power to suppress the fire starter's.

Ace gripped the man's arm keeping him from getting any closer to his chest as he tried to over power him, both men then ended up having to bring in both their hands to the battle as each other pushed with all their might to over power the other in the struggle. Ace had to do something. If Ace lost here then everything would be for not. Revenge for Thatch and Whitebeard ….and Sanji…Sanji would go un-rescued. He could not leave Sanji …not again!

The fire starter found a power with in himself, a will of his own, a desire to win that was so strong it beat down hard over Blackbeard pushing back the other man's devil fruit powers as Ace let one of his hands go willingly taking the dagger to his chest so it freed one of his hands up for use that he then turned to flame and pushed its way into the other man's chest and closed in around the darkness that was Blackbeard's heart.

"Offer me money." Ace whispered.

"Yesss…" hissed out the man not wanting to die.

"Power to … promise me that." Ace then spoke a little louder.

"All that I have and more …please." He didn't want to die, he had his dream, he was sups to be Pirate King after all.

"Offer me everything I ask for." Ace pressed on.

"Anything you want!" Blackbeard was getting annoyed but went with it, if it led to him getting out of this position, he could always go back on his word later. Still even when he was saying all these things he was trying to push the dagger deeper into the man's chest and recall on his powers that had somehow been suppressed.

"I want my father back you son of a bitch!" growled Ace in the man's face as his hand busted in hotter flames and crushed down on the dark heart it held. As Blackbeard fell on top of him in a dead heap Ace rolled to the side and shoved the man off him then winced as he removed the dagger from his own chest tossing it away and got to his feet stumbling, blood dripping down his bear chest freely, it being the worst of his wounds.

"Ace!" cried Chopper rushing over to the man to help him stand.

Just then Zoro cut through the large double doors which held more guards behind it. "Push through! We split up and look for the cook!" ordered the swordsman.

* * *

Sanji was guided through the halls of the castle, the wedding being made to move up ahead of planed due to the attack being made on the castle. The cook then stumbled in the heels he wore as another shaking of the earth rocked the castle. The cook was not sure what the hell they are doing out there but it was most certainly not a sneak in plan like how he wanted them to come get him. Whatever as long as they came for him before he was forced to marry that …thing!

Before he knew it Sanji was then at the alter with Humpadick as the priest got himself ready. The room full with guests and a few guards along with Count Moore at the Queen's side.

"You don't seem excited my little muffin." Humpadick cooed to the cook.

"Should I be?" the blonde raised a curled brow to the large man.

Once again Humpadick's outfit was an eyesore. White leather knee high heeled boots with a matching short skirt dress and a long white fur cape over his shoulders that matched the fur at the top and edge of the dress hem and boot tops. His pink was hair in swoops and spirals which made a heart shape figure on top of his head that his crown set in front of.

"Brides often are I'm told." Humpadick grinned. "I know I am!"

Sanji scowled to the man. "I do not marry tonight. My Ace will save me." his tone coming out rather smug.

This got the Queen to stiffen, "Ace should be already dead by now. I had my cousin see to that…I believe you remember Blackbeard?"

Sanji glared, "He will come for me!"

"That is nonsense." Humpadick fidgeted.

"Then why is there fear behind your eyes?" smirked the blonde.

Humpadick reached out and gripped the cook's wrist and jerked him more towards the priest. "Start! Start now!"

As the priest did as was commanded of him Sanji could not help but look over his shoulder at the double doors and will them to open already. Yet as Sanji kept watching the doors Humpadick's temper was raising. The Queen jerked/shook the blonde trying to make him face the priest. It was in this struggle that the doors did bust in.

With a bright smile Sanji turned his body to face his love held out his arms only to have his face with those arms fall and his head tilt to the side. "Marimo?" a bit of a frown came to the blonde's face as he stared at the green haired man there in the doorway but then shrugged. Screw it as long as he could get out of here. "Marimo it's about fucking time!" he smirked but then the blonde's face fell again and he soon bristled due to the attention he was getting from Zoro.

Zoro had busted in having gotten split from his group he had been with and had somehow ended up here but it seemed to have worked out for the best cause here was the cook. The swordsman had planed when he saw Sanji again to use the list of jokes he had came up with while walking in the forest about the cook wearing a dress but as Zoro stood there now faced with the blonde he could not remember any of them or how to breathe for that matter… Sanji was … well he was…

The cook stood there a long white wedding dress, the skirt in bell shape poofing out and made up of many layers of folded silk to make lovely designs out of the folded cloth. The top was ever so tightly thin in the waist making the blonde look even more smaller then he was due to the poof out factor of the skirt at the hips. While the chest of the silk dress left the upper chest bare along with Sanji's slender shapely shoulders leaving the only trace of sleeves narrow straps that clung to the sides of the cook's upper arms.

The wig they still had on the cook had been done specially, collecting the large ringlets and pulling the golden hair into a high side ponytail that was pinned up and that left the golden strands still hide over his left eye and the curls cascading over his left bare shoulder. The cook's make-up had been done darker but not in bad taste. His one visible eye was in thick black liner and mascara and held a smoky dark eye shadow making that one eye look ever so smoldering with the bright blue of his eye setting it off like the blue fire with in a flame. Yet it was his lips that could really draw the attention. A bright blood red color perfectly painted the cook's lips making them truly show just how lush they were with that still wet look to them that promised any kiss from him would be a juicy delight.

"Ero-cook…" Zoro breathed out finally able to find his breath again.

"Marimo…" the cook warned.

"You're …you're so…" Zoro gasped.

"Don't you say it!" Sanji's temper strained.

"But you're…you're…" Zoro went on.

"I meant it moss for brains!" Sanji warned again.

"You're so pretty!" Zoro then admitted not able to help himself.

"That's it I'm kicking your ass!" the cook yelled in his furry. This being the last straw for the poor cook and he completely forgot the swordsman had come here to save him or that there was even still his own wedding going on.

As the cook tried to launch himself at his savor Humpadick caught Sanji around the waist with both arms wrapping them around the blonde holding him back as Sanji then struggled to free him self to try and get that the bastard swordsman. The cook's legs lifting and swinging up in his furry and in a royal tantrum.

"I'll show you who's pretty you shitty marimo! I'm gunna shove my foot so far up your ass your will be coughing up my shoes! Just you wait you son of a mucus shit turd ..." Sanji yelled out cussing up a storm but was cut off as Humpadick then let go with one arm so he could clamp a hand over Sanji's mouth.

"My dear please we are in the house of god!" Humpadick said almost sounding shocked at his bride's nasty mouth.

Sanji turned that one burning blue eye to the Queen now and growled.

"Count Moore … dispatch of the swordsman." The Queen then ordered only then to look back to the priest who was looking at Sanji in horror.

"Come on then, on with it!" ordered the Queen still holding Sanji.

A whimper now came from the cook as his blue eye now looked franticly back and froth to the priest and the swordsman.

Zoro seemed to finally snap out of his star stuck state and grinned coldly at the Count as the man came at him drawing a sword. Zoro already having two of his swords out rushed the man in golden armor and the clanking of swords were herd over the priest's words.

The Queen could see already that the Count was not going to be much of a match for this swordsman and knew he personally would need to take matters into his own hands. "Hurry it up, skip to the end! Say man and wife, man and wife!" Humpadick growled through his teeth to the priest.

"Man and wife." The priest then said in a near panic to please with Queen.

Sanji having been watching Zoro duel till then turned back his eye to the priest and gasped through the hand that still covered his mouth.

Count Moore then was flung back to the feet of Humpadick and Zoro grinned all the more. "Tch … not even worth my time for a warm-up." he mocked. "Now hand over the cook!" Zoro demanded.

As the Count got back up Humpadick trusted Sanji to him, "Escort my bride to his room I will be there shortly once I dispose of this trash." The Queen huffed.

Sanji gasped being pushed along against his will. "Zoro!" He then yelled out, "Run, just run!" he cried out in panic. There was no way Zoro would be able to go up against Humpadick, no way!

Zoro only smirked, "Worried about me ero-cook?"

Sanji frowned as he was getting dragged from the room.

"Just go sit tight till I finish this guy off princess." the Swordsman teased the cook.

Yet Sanji could not see any humor in this as he knew all to well the power Humpadick held. As they passed by the door Sanji then saw an oddly place eye up top of the door watching the on goings take place. It was a beautiful dark blue eye... Robin's eye! Surly she would see the danger and get the others and save the stupid moss-head…or so the cook hoped.

The cook was then half shoved and dragged down the hallways as he struggled weakly against the man till finally he just gave up and went along with the man not brothering to waste any more of what little bit of his strength he had left. As they reached his room then he was shoved inside and heard the door then slam shut behind him and lock.

Sanji sighed. He felt so helpless and so useless. Even worse was it was starting to look like the honeymoon would really come!

"I should just save myself the trouble and cut my dick off now." Sanji moaned in misery as he moved to the window only to freeze in place at the sound of another's voice.

"Thanks for the offer of cutting up my meat for me but I like it whole." came Ace's cocky voice.

Sanji spun around on his high heels and saw Ace laying in his light pink silk frilly sheet king sized bed. "Ace!" and with out wasting another moment Sanji rushed over to him throwing himself onto the man and covered his face in kisses.

"Owie, owie … careful I know I'm irresistible and all but go easy on me huh?" Ace laughed and warped one arm around the blonde lightly.

Sanji pulled back at the man's words and just now noticed Ace covered in many bandages. "You're hurt…" Sanji whispered his face taking on a woeful expression.

Ace still just smiled gazing at Sanji and how lovely the cook looked as a bride but knew for his own health not to comment on such; else he would need Chopper to patch up more wounds on him. "Tis' but a scratch."

"LAIR! There is a huge fucking bandage across your chest!" Sanji said sitting up beside the man.

The fire starter gave one of his trademark smirks, "Well I never said it was a small scratch."

Sanji rolled his eyes and just gave it up. "We need to get out of here. Can you get the door down?" It was embarrassing to ask but he did not have the strength in himself to kick the door down like he normally would be able to. The Queen always keeping him far to drained for anything of that sorts.

Ace gave a nod, "Yeah just give me a moment…the fight with Blackbeard kinda took a lot out of me." he finally admitted.

Sanji frowned and hoped the wounds were not to grave but surly Chopper must have treated Ace…maybe he had been left here for his own safety? "I'm going to change out of this fucking dress so I can actually make a run for it with you guys." the cook then said getting to his feet and reaching behind himself to start to unlace the dress.

"Awe…but it's so..." Ace started but didn't finish as Sanji looked back over his shoulder with a hard glare to the man. "Huh right then … good plan!" Ace smiled brightly changing his tune around.

Satisfied with that Sanji looked back around as he then pulled the dress down to let it fall at his feet then stepped out of it bending over so not to trip due to the damn heels he was in.

As Ace lay there trying to find his strength again he could not help but watch as Sanji removed the dress from himself. Sure it had been nice … real pretty and all but …fuck! What was under it was ten million times better!

Sanji now had on just a white tight corset that covered his stomach and chest along with a pair of white silk panties that were attached to white matching garters that were keeping up a pair of white silk stockings with lacy tops. The cook's legs looked like they had been shaved and with the high heels making his legs flex to be up on tip toes, the blonde was fucking dropped dead sexy as hell.

Ace's nose spurted out blood as he suddenly had tons of energy and pounced the cook almost knocking the poor man over as Ace gripped the cook around the waist hugging him tightly as he rubbed one of his cheeks to Sanji's panty covered ass.

"Oi! What the hell do you think you're doing at a time like this!" the blonde yelled out annoyed.

Ace however was in his own little world as he went on to rub the side of his face to Sanji's ass letting one of his hands coming down to run down along the cook's thigh, Ace's finger tips playing over the different feels between the garter straps, the lace tops of the stockings and the soft smooth skin of the cook's.

Sanji frowned seeing as he went ignored. "Ace?" he yelled trying to get the man's attention as he was being held still to were he could not get away.

Ace suddenly then spun the cook so the blonde bounced down face first on the bed as the fire starter slipped to the floor on his knees positioning himself between the cook's legs and leaned his face in as he stuck his tongue out to run it tracing the edges of the leg holes of the panties the cook wore.

Sanji gasped out at first when he was tossed down on the bed but quickly recovered at the feel of that hot wet tongue. "Ace really! This is not the time for that! Dammit are you even listening to me?"

Of course was Ace would never flat out ignore Sanji, he just was not willing to answer him at the moment … till the blonde changed his tune. After all there was always time for nookie … besides the others should be taking care of things. Letting that be a good enough of an excuse for himself he went on. His tongue snaking up under the edges of the panties on the blonde as his finger tips dragged down the blonde's legs and back up again.

The cook blushed and pressed his lips tightly together willing himself to not get turned on by this. Someone here had to be the sane one after all. Who the fuck stopped in the middle of battle/war type situation to have sex? That was just crazy and not logical!

One of Ace's hands stroked up under Sanji's narrow hips and over along the man's pelvis to fondle him through those silk panties taking pleasure in the feel of the cook's member hardening in his warm touches. With his teeth then he gripped the top of the panties and slowly dragged them down the cook's pert ass.

Sanji whimpered at due to Ace's active hand and the feel of cool air over his bare bottom as a pink flush was starting to come to his whole face. He should be telling Ace to stop now … he really should…so why wasn't he? A moan pulled it self free from the cook's throat as he felt Ace's teeth bite softly into one cheek of his ass ever so playfully. Oh yeah ... that's why he was not.

The fire starter let up on the flesh with his teeth and let his tongue lick over the small teeth mark indents he had just made all while his hand on the other side pushed Sanji's balls up with the palm of his hand and grounded them in rolling motions into the fast growing hard cock that was poking out half way from the panties. Slowly Ace pulled back his face as he reached out to with his free hand to the nightstand in hopes to find some lotion in the drawer there. He was rather shocked to see a full array of lubes and other naughty sexual toys. He would not question it however and just scooped up one of the bottles of lube and opened it up to squirt it freely over the crack of the cook's ass.

Sanji hissed, "Bastard that's cold!" he said in a rather whiny tone, yet still could not find it in himself to tell the man to stop anymore.

"Awe I'm sorry…" Ace purred out, "Let me warm it for you…" he lowered his face back down again and breathed down over the heat inducing lube making it raise in temperature then took the pleasure in watching the cook's hips lift off the bed in want.

"Fucking stop teasing me you bastard!" Sanji growled out through his teeth and was promptly answered by being jerked to roll over on his back.

"You want it that bad huh?" Ace mocked him as he then pulled Sanji's white panties down in front letting the cook's meaty rod spring fully free of the confines.

"Bastard." Sanji simply repeated his insult again in a whimper and reached down to help push off the panties the rest of the way but Ace ceased his hands at once.

"No…I want them left on." The fire starter's voice coming out husky with his desire as his dark eyes took in the gorgeous vision of Sanji before him laid out so divinely. The cook made up so lovely all in white and with those fucking hot ass red lips parted as he panted in soft breaths while the man's hard cock throbbed with need … a need Ace was more then willing to help to take care of for him.

Sanji's cheeks blushed a darker shade of pink …he just could not help it. What Ace was asking for seemed so damn kinky the cook could not help but be strangely turned on and ashamed all at the same time.

Ace lowered his head down and ran his tongue up and down along the sides of the blonde's cock breathing in the man's sweet scent and soaking his tongue in the mouth watering taste of his lover. His tongue then came up and dabbed over the tip of the blonde's cock taking in that droplet pearl that had been squeezed out just then. Ace brought that heavenly nectar into his mouth and savored it as he watched his love wiggle in need for more attention. "Tell me what you want…" he then whispered out.

Sanji clenched his teeth frowning at the cocky bastard for going to make him say it; his hands tightening in fists at his sides as he stared up at that devilishly hansom man there between his legs. They really should not be ….oh screw it! The blonde reached out and grabbed a handful of that messy raven black hair and jerked the man forward to his pelvis. "Suck me…" Sanji moaned out his hips straining forward.

With a pleased smile Ace allowed his face to be pulled down and opened his mouth wide to take in the thick tender meat the cook was so eager to serve up to him. A soft moan came from him letting the vibrations trickle down along Sanji's cock that was deep in his mouth now as he suckled firmly keeping a tight suction on the man as he worked his mouth up and down at first in a slow pace but as he felt Sanji's hand tugging on his hair he let his mouth speed up to the desired fast pace the blonde was so badly wanting.

The cook breathed through clenched teeth as pulled on Ace's hair urging the man to move faster up and down on him as his hips thumped up into the man's face. It had been far to long since he had, had any kind of release not to mention how long it had been since he had felt this fire burning over and through him that only Ace had ever been able to ignite with in him.

As the fire starter felt the cook's member twitch with in his mouth he lowered himself further taking Sanji deep into his throat and slipped two fingers under Sanji to probe along the blonde's sleek lube covered ass crack till they found the further depths Ace had been truly after. Slowly his now lube coated fingers slipped up inside the man pushing in till he was halted at his knuckles.

Sanji withered under Ace crying out in pure bliss as that sweet spot inside him was found at once and pushed down on only then to be massaged. Reaching out then with his other hand the cook took another handful of Ace's hair and let his hips beat up off the bed as he fucked his lover's face till he saw white spots in front of his eyes from busting out in a such a powerful orgasm. As he howled out in delight he rode the pleasure wave of it and only once it was over did his hands drop from the other man's hair as he lay back panting out.

Ace let the thick warm cream blast down his throat yet as the grip on his hair was let up so came up his head and he opened his mouth wide so some of the cum would dribble out of his mouth and down Sanji's member. The fire starter's eyes locked on the that one blue one making sure his love was watching him as he then proceeded to lick up all the dribbled mess he had purposely let escape him.

His blue visible eye widen at the sexy display Ace put on for him and he eagerly watched whimpering and fascinated by that flaming flickering tongue that was so busy licking him clean and helping his cock to stand tall once more. Sanji whined then in protest as Ace moved his head away from his pelvis and the fingers from his rear were removed. "Please, please more." he begged now far past from caring if this made him seem weak or not. He wanted this man, he wanted him so fucking bad and he didn't care how or what he had to do to get his desire met.

Licking his lips still tasting the blonde on them Ace reached down to himself now and undid his pants pulling his own cock free finally and poured out some more of the lube from the bottle he had got earlier to stroking it over his member fully greasing it up. "I love the way you say please." he moaned out getting to his feet tossing the bottle of lube down as he then jerked Sanji's legs up in the air, the white panties now rolled bunched up on the man's thighs keeping the blonde's legs from being stretched to far apart and that suited Ace just fine. Letting the cook's legs lay to his chest he winced slightly in pain from the pressure on his very sore and painful wound while he positioned his cock to lover's ass finding just the right spot and pushed his hips in slowly easing himself in the amazing tightness.

A scream of pain and pleasure tore from Sanji as his ass was made forced to take the broad width of Ace. His hands then grabbed at the pink silk sheets under him as he pushed out to help ease the pain and get Ace deeper with in him. He truly felt like he was going to pass out from the draining energy this was pulling form him but the pleasure was just to good to ignore and his body stressed its self further to get more of this sinful delight as he panted hard between his whimpering moans.

Ace breathed in deeply as he fully buried himself with in the blonde's sweet tight ass his own body trembling in its own exertion still weak from the battle he had been through yet he could not stop now even if he wanted to. He had to have more; his whole body called out for it and so the fire starter pulled back his hips to almost fully bring himself out of the blonde then slammed back down deeply in the man bring out cries from himself and his lover. Sanji's legs pushed down on his chest and Ace grunted in pain and ended up having to shift those works of art over to the side letting both of Sanji's ankles rest over one of his shoulders as he slowly started to rock in and out of the man.

Whimpers and whines poured out of the blonde like a song as he wiggled there on the bed wanting so badly to spread his legs yet those damn panties kept him trapped like cuffs. It was just so frustrating, the more Ace kept giving him the more he wanted. Pushing himself up on his elbows he raised up letting his body double over showing off just how flexible he was as he then let Ace push down on his legs so they could share in a kiss as Ace plowed with in his ass.

The fire starter more then willingly met the cook in for a kiss capturing those sexy red lips with his own feeding the blonde a taste of himself that still clung to Ace's mouth then started to pull back only to have Sanji catch his bottom lip with his teeth and nibble and suckle at it making Ace keep himself lowered for just a few extra moments before pulling away so he could stand straight up again and work his hips harder into that sweet ass.

As Sanji watched his lover stand back up he smirked seeing the red smears of his lipstick now painted over and around Ace's mouth. It looked good on the man all messed up like that seeming to prove just how wild he really was like the fire he controlled. Like the fire he wielded with inside Sanji's heart and body. "More, more, oh fuck Ace don't stop, more please!" he cried out feeling his cock spurt out drops of precum that dribbled down his once again rock hard member.

His body was burning now with pain and weary from the exertion this was taking on him yet at hearing his Sanji beg for more he pushed himself on and let his hips slam down repeatedly as he held those strong sculpted legs to his side that dangled off his shoulder. He still could not get over how fucking sexy they were all wrapped up in these white stockings. Faster his hips beat down in jack hammer jerky movements giving his lover everything he had now, letting Sanji's cries and screams feed and coax him on to keep up the fast pace as his own screams and grunts of pain and pleasure were thrown into the mix.

Every thrust Ace gave him set him off just a bit more till he was at the point were all he was doing was screaming and jerking his hips up to meet more of that delicious pleasure. Then it was like a sudden combustion went off inside him as Ace lost his load in hard rocket shot up inside him bringing Sanji spilling over and erupting once more as well. He rode the new wave till darkness over came him and he passed out his body reaching its limits.

Ace moaned out and cried in utter pleasure till fell forward losing his stance making the blonde's leg bend and become trapped between their bodies. The fire starter now in thin shine of sweat pulled him self out of Sanji wincing and rolled to lay next to his lover's side breathing in panting breaths. As he lay there he watched Sanji as well breathing in deep breaths in his passed out state. Slowly Ace reached out over to cup the side of the blonde's face and let his thumb lovingly stroke Sanji's cheek and smiled as he saw that blue eye flutter back open.

Sanji rolled his head to the side to look at Ace and smiled back at the man feeling almost high from lack of energy. He reached up with one of his hands and placed it on top of Ace's hand that lay on his cheek and just stared into those dark brown eyes.

"I love you." Ace whispered.

"I love you too." whispered back Sanji.

Ace leaned over wincing slightly at the pain it brought but kept moving till he brought his lips down onto those sweet red shining tempting treasures to once again kiss Sanji softly this time and savored the feel of just being with someone he loved so deeply and strongly.

Sanji shut his eyes and gave over every last part of himself to Ace through that kiss till the other man pulled back. The blonde then just lay there gathering up energy again as realization hit him. "We still need to get out of here."

Ace smirked just now remembering that himself. "Oh yeah … huh …" he looked around then pulled off a pillow case from a pillow and used it to wipe his dick clean then turned to clean up the mess he made of Sanji.

The blonde raised a curly brow but at this point was too tired to complain and allowed him self to be cleaned up till Ace tried to help him with pulling the panties back up. Sanji then shooed Ace's hands away and reached down to do it himself unrolling and untwisting them then raising his hips to pull the things back over to cover himself having only need to adjust himself a bit to fit himself right in them once again.

As Sanji got his panties back up Ace picked his hat up off the floor from where it had been sitting by the bedside, having left it there when Chopper had first put him down in this bed. He then placed the hat back on top of his head where it so rightfully belonged and then pulled up his pants zipping and buttoned them only then to flop back down on the bed and groan out. Fuck he was tired and hurt like a son of a bitch.

"Ace?" Sanji then questioned rolling to his side and pushing back the annoying fake hair from over his shoulder.

Ace looked over at Sanji then rolled to his side as well to face the blonde and lay a hand over Sanji's hip. "Yeah?"

"Forgive me?" the cook pouted.

Ace laughed at the silly request. "For what?"

"I got married. It happened so fast but its true." the blonde then stated.

Ace gave a small shake of his head, "It never happened."

"What?" Sanji questioned.

"It never happened." Ace then repeated.

"But it did I was there. The old man priest said man and wife." Sanji insisted.

"Did you say I do?" Ace questioned a gleam in his eye and a smirk on his lipstick smeared lips.

Sanji opened to his mouth then paused in thought, "Well no …we sorta skipped that part."

"Then you're not married. You didn't say it, you didn't do it." Ace smirked all the more making his point.

Sanji let the thought of that sink in and a smile slowly returned to his face.

"Wouldn't you agree your highness?" Ace then questioned the Queen that now stood in the open doorway.

At Ace's words Sanji jerked his head around to see Humpadick standing there and fear gripped the blonde tightly.

"A technicality that will shortly be remedied…. But first…" smirked the Queen stepping into the room.

To be continued…

* * *

**A/N's:** There ya go Ringo-chawn the smutness I promised ya xD

Hopefully I didn't make a bunch of people sick with my crappy nookie scene. LOL!

Two things I learned during writing this chapter!

1) I really need to work on Ace's OP fighting style. (If you think I did ok with the cheep sum up of poetry-ish fight then bless your heart! You're one of my favorite people now!)

And

2) I have watched The Princess Bride way to many times this week trying to match shit up with this story xD

Ah well hope you all are enjoying still….only one chapter left now! Hope to see you all for the finally! I promise you an ending is coming to the likes of one you never saw coming! *smriks* And that's all I have to say about that!


	6. Chapter 6 Happily Ever After

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Chapter 6 Happily Ever After

Sanji stared at Humpadick as the man walked into the room. Zoro! What had happened to Zoro? Did the others get the swordsman out in time or did they only fall victim to this bastard as well?

"First…first I will make you suffer painfully for taking my bride's purity just now!" Humpadick growled.

"Oi!" Sanji suddenly yelled frowning at the implications of that.

Ace forced himself to set up grinning from ear to ear. "Sorry, I hate to tell you this but I got that black cherry a long time ago."

"You're just saying that! My darling would never give himself away so freely!" the Queen huffed stamping a foot.

"Trust me he gave it up every which way that night." Ace snickered.

"Still in the room here!" growled out the cook as a tick stressed it's self on the side of his head.

"I will kill you just a bit more for that!" promised the Queen ignoring Sanji for the time as he came around the bed and putting up a hand as his power collecting between his plump fingers.

Ace at once got to his feet and knew he would not last long but would not back down.

Frantic Sanji watched the two. The only outcome the blonde could see was a bad one. He had to do something but what? Not having a plan at all Sanji got to his feet as well and put his arms out one blocking Ace from the Queen. "NO! You will not…." his words died on his lips and his head cocked to the side in puzzlement.

As Sanji stood up the Queen's whole face went red at the sight of the blonde there in those white undergarments, then his nose sprayed in a gush of blood and he fell over backwards.

"Plan B…run away!" Sanji suddenly called out grabbing Ace and pulling him from the room.

"Oi! I never run away from a fight!" yelled out the fire starter.

To which Sanji replied by picked the other man up and tossing him over his shoulder and did the running for them both. "Fine then be carried away bastard!"

Not having a good line of vision due to Ace's swinging feet Sanji ran smack dab into another group knocking everyone on their asses.

Shaking his head Sanji looked up to see Chopper, Zoro, Brook and Robin. "You're ok!" Sanji gasped out at the swordsman.

Zoro grunted hardly able to push himself up from the floor. "Of course I'm you…." and then Zoro's nose busted into a gush of blood flow that mimicked Brook's and Chopper's at the sight of the cook.

"My, that is a very interesting outfit cook-san." smirked Robin.

Sanji blushed getting to his feet with Ace at his side, the fire starter grinning once more.

It was then that the other group came running around the corner Nami leading the way with Franky and Usopp being made to carry armfuls of plundered royal treasure. All three then came to a screeching halt then in front of the others. Franky and Usopp fell over with noses bursting in blood flow at just one look at the cook.

Nami rolled her eyes and walked over to Usopp and pulled out a hooded cloak from the man's purse …erm I mean bag …and came over to Sanji wrapping the poor cook in it to hide him.

The cook with hearts then in his eye cooed out, "Ah Nami-swan is so kind! I can always count on you!" he noodle danced in adoration.

"Whatever…we got what we came for now lets get the hell out of here…come on you idiots get up!" the navigator growled using the bottom of her heel to kick each of the male members whom were on the floor still bleeding out form their noses.

Slowly they got up blushing and not willing to meet Sanji in the eye.

Chopper then had to pick Zoro up and re-put the man on his back.

"Eh what is wrong with him?" Ace questioned speaking of Zoro.

"Queen Humpadick drained a lot of his energy before we were able to get to him, then once the Queen realized there was a lot of us running around he took off …I guess worried one of us would find Sanji." Chopper summed up as best as he could.

"Halt right there you thieves!" called out a nameless guard that has no other lines in this story but that. Who also had a handful of guards behind him.

From another passageway the Queen then came out from the bedroom Sanji had been given with tissue plugging both nostrils of his nose. "Come back with my bride you assholes!" cried Humpadick

The gang was really in no shape to be fighting thus went with the only alterative. "Run away!" cried out everyone in union but Robin and Ace. Robin went along willingly though while Sanji had to take Ace by the wrist as they all sprinted off in the only clear path there was.

The Queen and the guards then took off after them at once.

Most of the gang started to freak out now not sure if they could out run the Queen and guards as they had no clue where they were going thus leading into a lot of confusion.

"This way!" cried out Usopp leading them into one room then out another that lead them back into the same hall and repeated this with the Queen and guards following.

*Author at this time cues Benny Hill theme music*

Chopper with Zoro stuck their heads out one door as down the hall Sanji with Ace poked their hands out another door and in the middle the Queen poked his head out the door with Usopp's head above him looking around clueless as to what was under him. All the doors then shut and the effect was shuffled this time with the added bonus of Nami Franky, Brook and Robin running across the hallway being chased by the guards.

They all scrambled then into different doors only to get even worse mixed up now as Sanji was now leading around some poor guard by the wrist and Chopper was carrying Franky on his back.

Usopp stopped in the middle of the hallway then to yell out, "Where the hell is that music coming from!" Then was bumped into by the guards and they all tumbled rolled into a room across the hallway.

Robin, Zoro, and Ace now stood at the end of the hallway with their arms crossed and glared as they now watched some guards being chased by Sanji and the guard he was leading around only then to be followed by the others of the crew and the Queen shaking a meaty fist at them all.

"The author has lost her fucking mind…" grumbled out Zoro. To which the other two now shook their heads in agreement.

*promptly 3 sandbags fail from above*

Two of the sandbags hit Zoro and Ace making them fall over however Robin side stepped the third and a cold icy glare came from the woman as a shadows darkened her face.

*the music scratches to a halt as the author fears for her life*

The crew now ran at the three in the hallway, Sanji no longer having hold of the guard and Chopper no longer carrying Franky. They pushed the other three along and ran down the stairs that lead to the royal throne room with the guards and Queen hot on their heels.

The crew were now met by even more guards and some of them where holding sea stone weapons again. They turned to go back up the stairs but the Queen and guards from before were now blocking them. They were trapped!

"Time for Happiness punch!" cried out Nami.

"Eh but Nami that's not gunna work these guys are all ... you know." said Usopp and made the limp wrist motion with his hand.

"Who said it was gunna be me!" smirked the red head and grabbed the cloak she had put on Sanji earlier and jerked it off making the poor cook spin in place then come to a dizzy stand still slightly wobbling his knees turned in as he tried to keep his balance on the high heels he wore.

At seeing the cook all the males in the room, pirates included, fell over spurting blood from their noses.

Nami smacked a hand to her forehead as Robin pattered her shoulder. "I bit more punch then you bargained for I see." said the historian with a small smile on her lips.

"That it!" yelled Queen Humpadick. "Enough with these foolish games!" The guards then got back up and at once seized the pirates holding them all so they could not get away. The pirates then were made to stand in two rows of lines as only Sanji was brought to the middle and forced down to his knees as the Queen stood a few feet away from him looking down on the man coldly.

"Say you will be mine body, soul and heart and I will let them live." said the Queen smugly finally having the upper hand once again.

Sanji stared up at the man with hatred, "I will give you my body…"

"Sanji!" cried out Ace.

"I will give you my soul…"

"Stop baka-cook!" cried out Zoro struggling but now to weak to do shit.

"But! My heart is not mine to give for it already belongs to Ace!" Sanji stared up defiantly at the Queen.

"AGHHHH!" screamed Humpadick in frustration sick and tired of not getting his way, then he turned around and took in deep breaths before he turned back around. "Well then…if I can't have you…no one will!" he laughed.

Gasps came now from all the others as it seemed like the outcome was going to truly be hopeless.

Queen Humpadick raised his hand and his power swarmed with in it. "You truly love each other and so you might have been truly happy." sneered the large man. "No one couple in a century has that chance, no matter what the storybooks say."

"Sani, Sanji!" screamed out Ace, as the others as well struggled with their captors wanting to stop what was about to happen.

Sanji stayed on his knees facing what was to come with pride holding him self up as straight as he could as the guards let go of him.

"So I think no man in a century will suffer as greatly as you will!" laughed out the Queen as he thrust out his meaty jiggling arm and his power beamed out from his hand to bubble around the cook in a dark light as it started to suck away the years of Sanji's life, the Queen not spearing any mercy this time and using full force on the blonde.

Sanji had tried to keep his mouth clamped shut but as the power around him grew stronger and the pain became unimaginable painful his mouth opened wide and a scream tore from him to the likes of one never herd before, it was the sound of ultimate suffering. It was not just a sound of voice but a sound from the heart being ripped away from this world from the one thing that truly gave it reason in beating for.

Tears now were streaming down all the faces of the pirates even Zoro could not hold back the tear drops that found their way to his cheeks as he watched utterly helpless as Sanji was being killed right in front of his eyes.

The power Ace had called up before that after noon came once again but much weaker now just enough to help him over power the guard that was holding him with a sea stone weapon over his bandaged covered chest. Once free and the guard falling to the ground Ace made a last attempt in saving his true love. Ace threw himself in way of the beam his arms reaching out and grabbing hold of Sanji pulling the blonde in into his embrace.

Sanji's screams stopped then as Ace took them up in place for the blonde. The fire starter's back being blasted with the draining power getting the new years he had just reclaimed weeks ago stolen from him.

With the cook's last bit of strength he tried to switch the roles once again willing as well to die for his true love but all he managed was to be able to pull Ace down and the two tumbled onto the floor side by side facing each other locked in one another's arms now sharing the beam of life sucking power.

"Fine you both want to die so badly then die together!" yelled out Humpadick raising his other hand to double the force.

Nami screamed at the utter heatless terror before her eyes as Robin shut her eyes tears squeezing from her tightly shut eyes. All the men struggling crying out as the tears poured heavily down all their faces.

Ace and Sanji gazed into each others eyes watching the life drain out of one another and somehow Ace found the strength to let his lips move. No words came out but Sanji already knew what the man was saying to him, _I love you_.

Slowly then the blonde's visible blue eye could no longer find the strength to stay open and fell shut as his body went limp and Ace's body soon followed in action. The two lovers laid there on the floor unmoving yet still held in each others embrace.

"No!" screamed out Zoro in anguish that mimicked his fellow crewmate's cries.

Queen Humpadick laughed out as he kept draining what little life was left in the pair on the floor, "Ha, ha who did you honestly think the happy ending would go to?"

It truly seemed like it would take a miracle now.

Suddenly the double doors of the throne room were thrown open wide as a large figure stood in the door way. "Who the hell has been sitting in my chair kama?" called out the person and then stepped into the light of the room. There stood a large man like a midget of a giant, with hair of blueish purple hair styled in a large afro wearing a red scandalous woman's garment with black fishnets with matching high heels and a tattoo branded on his chest. It was none other then The Miracle Worker himself Iva, or better known as Emporio Ivankov, the true Queen of Kamabakka Kingdom!

Taking in the scene Iva used his power Hell Wink and blasted Humpadick sending the wanna-be Queen flying back crashing into a wall knocking him out cold by shear power and force. Iva's faithful okama, that had came with him on his stolen ship, to sail back to the kingdom, then stormed into the room to secure the now fake Queen prisoner and to take him away to the dungeon while the others then freed the pirates from the guards.

As soon as he was free Chopper rushed to Ace's and Sanji's side checking them over the tears still in his large round eyes as he tried to suck up it so he could focus on his doctorly duties. Yet he ended up shaking his head, "They are dying!" There was no wound to cure, there was no broken bone to mend, the life was just leaving them.

"Sounds like you could use a miracle!" came the union voices of Fried and Spam as the two hobbits popped out Iva's afro.

"These are the kids you told darlings told me about?" questioned Iva and the two nodded.

"God dammit can't that kid stay alive for longer then a month." then came angry voice of Admiral Garp's as he came into the room with his arms crossed over his chest.

"Well if it's Luffy's crew!" smiled Iva and slipped the author a twenty.

*Author casts Large Heal as she stuffs the cash down her shirt top*

A brilliant show of shimmer red glowing lights fell then from the ceiling to fall over everyone healing them of the injures they had suffered from their adventures till this point.

Ace and Sanji's eyes then fluttered open and they sat up Ace taking hold of Sanji's hand and smiled at the blonde. Sanji smiled back and they leaned in to kiss but were then plowed over by Chopper, Usopp, Franky, and Brook.

"You're both alive!" cheered the little reindeer doctor as he nuzzled his head to Sanji's stomach.

"Oh you guys … you both ... whaaaa!" cried out Franky in a blubbery mess of happy tears.

Robin and Nami both looked happy and hugged each other while shedding a few happy tears as well.

Even the grumpy swordsman Zoro now smiled seeming not to mind this time around about the author's cheep tricks.

"Well now that you are back and healthy we can talk about beating some sense into you and you giving up this life to join the marines to catch pirates." Garp said sternly looking down at Ace.

"I have already caught the only pirate I ever want to catch." smiled Ace.

"Oh you mean Blackbeard?" questioned Usopp.

Ace smiled all the more and looked to Sanji. "No."

*Author casts Happy Disco Party Ending*

The room went dark then and was quickly lighted back up in colorful lights as a disco ball dropped down from the ceiling and lights flashed around the room.

The whole cast then found themselves on a colorful lit up dance floor that had came out of nowhere in the throne room as the funky hot tune of 'Disco Inferno' now rocked the castle walls.

They all gave shrugs then and just went with it …all but Zoro.

Franky once more in his striper outfit from the Fire Swamp boggied with Robin spinning her around as Usopp and Nami danced on by them. Chopper was leading a line dance with Brook and the other okamas while Iva, Spam, Fired and Garp did hip thrusts. Ace now out of his bandages and showing off his sexy sculpted chest while Sanji still in his wedding undergarments looking as lovely as ever in his drag look, did hip bumps with each other as they got into the funky grove beat.

Zoro shock his head crossing his arms, "You just had to push it didn't ya Lolly?"

*promptly a sandbag drops down*

Zoro falls over getting knocked on the head once again.

Just as it seemed like everyone was happy or knocked out and it was the end of the story the double doors of the now disco throne room was crashed open once more and a dark deadly aura circled the new figure who stood in the doorway this time, the music now scratching to a halt.

"HOW DARE YOU GUYS HAVE AN ANDTURE WITH OUT ME!" yelled the man now coming into the disco light to show it was none other then Strawhat Luffy. "Do you guys have any idea how long I have been stuck in a flash back sequence?"

"There is food…" offered Ace.

"ACE!" cheered Luffy suddenly changing his tune and launched himself at his brother clinging to him in a big hug.

After pulling himself free Ace sat down with Luffy and the rest of his brother's crew as they all munched on some of the delightful food that had been placed out with the rest of the party effects. The music once again back on as some others still chose to dance for the time being.

Luffy around a mouthful of meat laughed after being told the whole story of it all, "Well then I guess that means you will be joining my crew now huh Ace?" smirked the younger of the brothers.

"Eh why do you say that?" Ace asked titling his head to the side.

Luffy blinked, "Well you wont leave Sanji will you?"

At this questioned all eyes then turned to Ace.

Ace however only smirked, "Of course not …but who ever said I would not be taking the lovely cook with me." Ace wiggled his brows and then got to his feet picking up a very surprised cook and Ace tossed his prized loot over his shoulder and adjusted his hat before then taking off running out the double doors and out of the castle.

It took Luffy and the others a moment to realize what just happened here. "Get him!" Luffy then shouted and all the Mugiwara crew tore after the fire starter, Luffy leading the way yelling out, "Ace you bastard give me back my cook!"

After giving his brother and the crew the slip Ace stopped on top of a hillside putting Sanji down who was still laughing at it all. Their eyes then met and they gazed into each other's eyes as dawn arose, the sky brightening from the dark night changing into warming hues of red yellow and orange.

A wave of love swept over the two pirates and they reached for each other pulling one another into a tender loving embrace and let their hearts led them on so that their heads tilted and their lips met in a kiss.

Since the invention of the kiss there have been five kisses that were rated the most passionate, the most pure … this one left them all behind.

The End

* * *

**A/N's:** Woot! And there it is! I would like to thank everyone who stuck through this story with me be it reviewing or just reading.

I hope my story could give your day or night a little enjoyment. I also hope to see you all at my next story.

Take Care!

^.^


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